American Idol 8 / Finals 5
You guys, it’s 7:41pm on the east coast, and I’m just now starting to watch the performance show.
I don’t know. I’ve kind of lost the love this year. Why is it such a grind to watch? Is it the fourth judge? Is it just that the show’s getting old and tired?
EDIT: Results start at 9 tonight! I got these in on time!
Danny: “Stand by Me”. Really? A remake from the year you were born? Out of all the kick-ass original songs from 1980? He sings it well, but overall the arrangement is totally boring muzak. Totally not hip, not modern, not marketable. Come on, Danny. Get back with the program.
Kris: “All She Wants to Do Is Dance”. 1985. He’s standing in the middle of the crowd, playing a guitar, and we can barely see him. The arrangement sucks lemons — a horrible horns-heavy funk version. Not hip, not modern, not marketable. Like, gag me with a spoon.
Lil: “What’s Love Got to Do With It”. 1984. Another ugly wig on Lil. She’s oversinging the hell out of the song. And it needs to be in a higher key. And she’s doing this weird little shuffling step-dance. At least I can’t see her dull, dead eyes as much, because she has them closed a lot.
Anoop: “True Colors”. 1986. Soft and gentle again, Anoop? Hmm. At least he’s giving it the boy band treatment, changing up the arrangement so it could possibly sound modern-ish. But it’s also boring. And he makes me sad, because he reminds me of Kutner on House.
Scott: “The Search Is Over”. 1985. Oh, he’s out from behind the piano! He has a guitar in hand! But Survivor isn’t exactly the right move. It’s like a soft and spongy version of butt rock. A lot of his notes are shaky, and he may well be the worst voice left in the competition.
Allison: “I Can’t Make You Love Me”. 1992. Seems like kind of an “old” song for a 16-year-old to sing. But she does a pretty good job with it. Her outfit, on the other hand, is terrible.
Matt: “Part Time Lover”. 1985. He actually shares my husband’s birthday. Doesn’t make me like him any more than before. And what IS that thing on his forehead? He sings Stevie poorly, and the arrangement is similar to what Kris did — dated funk/jazz. Oh, and he dodges the really good high notes. Coward! But the judges love the hell out of it. What on earth?
Here’s where we pass the one-hour mark, and the recording stops. Fortunately, we recorded Fringe, so I have the last performance on the TiVo.
Adam: “Mad World”. 1982. Ah, but he’s doing the spooky Donnie Darko version. Right? I’ve never seen Donnie Darko, just heard about it. This sounds nice, though. His hairstyle is unfortunately bowl-cut-ish. Great song choice, and sung really well. Winner of the night.
Looking at the recaps … what the hell was up with the funky jazz versions? Did these guys make a pact to all blow at the same time? I have to put Scott in the bottom three, along with Matt and Kris. I think it may be time for poor Scott to go.
