American Idol 8 / Semifinals week 3
Week 3! Final group of 12! There’s very little preamble to comment on, so … off we go!
1. Von Smith: He’s the “indulgent nonsense” kid. He’ll be singing Marvin Gaye, which is always a dicey proposition for these kids. He starts out with some wonky low notes, but eventually makes it into the higher notes, where he’s clearly more comfortable. He’s all right, I guess, but not my cup of tea. But I give him props for staying mostly in tune. The weirdest thing is that his song feels longer than it should be, and has like two fake endings before it actually ends. Randy gives him props for finally kicking off a show well. Kara finds him more comfortable. Paula calls him memorable. Simon compares him to Clay Aiken — singing well, but dressing “appalling”.
2. Taylor Vaifanua: I don’t recall her at all from the previous rounds. She’s singing Alicia Keys’ “If I Ain’t Got You”, a song which is “totally her”. I’m distracted by her outfit, which is some kind of short cocktail dress over a cheap tee-shirt and leather leggings. Then I’m distracted by how she can’t handle the lower notes in her song. Why do they always pitch too low? She hits the higher notes all right, but it’s kind of boring overall. Kara wants more personality. Paula is perplexed, since they heard this same song in Hollywood week. Simon couldn’t remember her from the previous rounds, and calls her performance bland and generic. They kick into the post-judging music stinger, then Randy gets his chance to repeat what’s been said before.
3. Alex Wagner-Trugman: He’s been reading on the internets that people find him “dorky”, so he’s been going to the gym. He’s going to do “I Guess That’s Why They Call It the Blues”. He’s using the microphone stand, and from the get-go he’s oversinging and breaking his voice and doing just plain weird stuff. It’s almost as weird a vocal performance as Nick/Norman turned in, but at least N/N was intentionally comedic. This kid is going hella overboard and is totally sincere about it. I’m going to wager that the word “karaoke” will come out of Simon’s mouth. Paula calls him “the showman”. Simon says he was fun to watch, but not to listen to, and calls part of the singing “ridiculous growling”. Indeed. Randy calls it “crazy in a buck wild kind of way”. What? Kara enjoyed his choreography. So … was he doing all of that as a joke? Or for realsies? I’m confused.
4. Arianna Afsar: She has a vaguely familiar look from previous rounds. She’s going to do the first-ever ABBA song on Idol — “The Winner Takes It All”. She’s using a mic stand, so it’s not a dynamic performance. She’s singing with a country twang, and sounds at times like she has a bubble of spit caught in her throat. Actually, I think she’s really nervous — she has that distinctive quiver in her voice. I don’t know this song, but musically it sounds kind of like The Pretenders’ “I’ll Stand By You”. I don’t think it was a good song choice, and I don’t think she did all that great. Simon cuts it down in several ways. Randy says it wasn’t the right song. Kara wants her to be more like a beam of sunshine, cute as a button, instead of the dark and depressing performance she just gave. Paula tries to add a little cheer, saying there were “bright moments”, but also criticizes the song choice.
5. Ju’not Joyner: All I remember about this guy is his name with the apostrophe in it. And if you know me at all, you know I’m anti-apostrophe in names. Anyhoo, he’s yet another kid with a kid, and he’ll be singing “Hey There Delilah”. And again with the microphone stand! What’s up with this group? So much use of the Performance Inhibitor™. The song is boring, his performance is boring, he looks half-asleep, and he’s both flat and sharp in places. Although he does hit a couple of decent money notes near the end. Randy appreciates the way he pulled back, and loves the song. Kara likes his spin on the song. Paula likes the liberties he took. Simon says it was better than he thought it would be, although a little bit safe. What? Am I the only one who thought it was boring and maudlin? Hmm, I guess so.
Commercials: How is it that Hell’s Kitchen and Top Chef both have supposedly professional chefs as contestants, but the folks on Hell’s Kitchen always seem much more classless, trashy, and ugly?
6. Kristen McNamara: Her purple hair was a “boo-boo”. Her group experience included a toxic drama queen and Nathaniel the freak. And tonight she’s singing Tracey Chapman’s “Give Me One Reason”. Yet ANOTHER microphone stand. The backing track starts out, and I know immediately that it’s going to be a soulless and crappy arrangement. And yes! Soulless is a perfect word! There’s not a single hint of the bluesy goodness that made this song excellent. She’s also changing the melody in spots, making it much more monotone. Some of her big money notes were sub-par at the end, too. Kara wanted to hear more of a Kelly Clarkson or Pink feel — more rock. Paula was expecting much the same. Simon describes her outfit as something her mum styled for a pageant. Randy is also unsure who she is, and accuses her of doing too much. And finally, the word “karaoke” is uttered.
7. Nathaniel Marshall: This is one of the kids who I don’t think should have gone through. He’s OK, but he’s not that great — better singers were let go. But he’s going to do Meat Loaf’s “I’d Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That)” and he gets the name wrong when he tells us what he’s singing. That’s always a good sign. This has all the makings of a great trainwreck. He starts out all soft and Broadwaylicious. Then it gets even MORE Broadway. And he dances like a drag queen. Overall it’s much worse than the original, which is something I never thought possible. Simon thinks the majority will find it excruciating, and hates on his outfit. Randy likes him, but is perplexed by the song choice. Apparently it’s a song that Nathaniel and his mother would dance around to. Kara wants him to be more serious. Paula thought he was cool and bold in Hollywood, but this was like a Boy George version of the song, without any cool factor. Wow, Paula kind of made good sense there.
8. Felicia Barton: Yet another stay-at-home mom. She actually didn’t make it into the top 36 originally, but was called in as an alternate. More Alicia Keys — she’s doing “No One”. She’s totally oversinging the hell out of the song, filling it with twang and breaks and runs and crap. The tempo feels really weird, like it needs to either be sped up or slowed down. We get to see her husband (who needs a haircut desperately) and son. Paula likes her. Simon thought the first part was better than the second, and calls it a bit copycat. Randy calls it “hot”. Kara likes her look, her attitude, her presence, and really noticed her for the first time tonight.
9. Scott MacIntyre: Blind kid! If he does well at all, he’s totally moving to the top 12. He’s made the intriguing choice of “Mandolin Rain” by Bruce Hornsby. He’s out there on a stool, probably having been led there by his seeing-eye hunk. The arrangement is kind of bland, and he’s just all right — he’s actually not the greatest singer, but he has such a great story. And of course, when he’s done singing the crowd goes bananas for him. Randy says it wasn’t a perfect vocal, but when he got it right, he really got it right. Kara applauds how much he sings from his heart, and wants America to put him through so we can hear him play and sing. Paula loves all over him. Simon wasn’t crazy about the song, but says Scott is growing on him.
10. Kendall Beard: She’s the cute little blonde who auditioned in Puerto Rico. She’s going to sing some Martina McBride crap. And every time she’s moved on, her dad has done his alligator dance. WEIRD. Oh, hey, I’ve heard this song before. Still crap, but it’s crap I’ve heard. She’s all over the place, and the backup singers in the chorus just emphasize how far off she is. Even her powerful money notes are pitchy. Kara applauds her personality, despite the issues with notes. Paula loves her outfit (Really, Paula? The wildflower belt?) and calls her adorable. Simon gives her props for picking a cute country song, but halfway through couldn’t wait for it to end. Randy also likes that she’s one of the first people who seem to know who they are as a singer.
11. Jorge Nuñez: I went and made a special trip out to get the n with the tilde. Yay, special characters! He’s going to give America a little “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me”. Hopefully it’ll be full of spicy Latin flavor. First off, kid needs some manscaping — his eyebrows are almost Sylar-sized. And he has a droopy eyelid, which is distracting. He’s singing all right — for the most part, he’s in tune. There are a few spots where his pronunciation is a bit wonky, but overall he does a decent job. But the song itself is somewhat boring, especially the American Idol arrangement. Paula’s terribly proud of all his hard work, and just wants to squeeze him. Simon thinks they were wrong to ask him to work on his accent. Randy calls his vocal really, really good. Kara brings it home by telling him that he’s born to sing. Then he starts crying, and the she-judges turn to mush. He blubbers in happy Spanish, and it’s kind of adorable.
12. Lil Rounds: Of course, they’re giving this girl the headliner spot. And of course, she’s going to do some Mary J. Blige (I always try to write that as “bilge”). I hate the weird syncopation of the song, but she does a great job — great tone, no nerves, it’s definitely the best performance of the night. Simon keeps it brief: “brilliant”. Although he warns her against Blige, since Lil sounds so Blige-like. Randy agrees, and says she didn’t lose her swagger tonight. Kara calls her a powerhouse. Paula calls her first-class, and has a “sneaking suspicion we’ll see her for many more Lil Rounds.” Clever, Paula!
Recaps: Von had a high boy-voice. Taylor had leather leggings. Alex took it a spaz too far. Arianna tried to be too big. Ju’not was boring and bland. Kristen filled my soul with meh. Nathaniel won’t do that. Felicia was uneventful. Scott’s a shoo-in. Kendall is all perky sunshine. Jorge was decent. Lil kicked eight kinds of ass.
I’m pretty sure Scott and Lil are guaranteed to move on. So now I have to decide on a third. I think it’s either going to be the country of Kendall or the foreignness of Jorge, since both are bound to have strong followings. But since the two previous weeks have been two boys and a girl, I’m going to keep the streak alive and go with Jorge.
