I can’t believe we’re into the 15th season of The Amazing Race. Hopefully it continues to be the best reality show on television. The show launched last night with a two-hour premiere, and right out of the gate there were some changes. One team was eliminated at the first challenge, before ever leaving the first city. The first pit stop was a non-elimination leg.

The teams first went to Japan, where they particpated in the probably-fake Japanse game show “Sushi Roulette”. In our house, we always discuss who would take what challenge. Scott is the go-to guy for eating anything, so he would have taken on the “wasabi bomb” (and he probably would have wolfed that sucker). The teams then had to lead groups of tourists to a park, where they stopped for the non-elimination pit stop. Then it was on to Vietnam for the second leg, where teams had to pack nutrient-rich mud onto tree roots, then move on to a Road Block that involved herding ducks. This would have totally been my challenge. The teams made their way to a riverboat in a marketplace to end the leg.

There are, as always, a bunch of mediocrity and jerkfaces, and very few cool contestants. Let’s check them out!

Meghan & Cheyne: She’s a cutesy blonde. His hair is slathered with gel to within an inch of its life. They don’t seem too offensive so far, but they’re not terribly interesting either. Hopefully they show some more personality as the race goes on. Oh, and his name is pronounced like “Shane”. When I see it in print, my brain pronounces it like “Cheney”.

Maria & Tiffany: They’re professional poker players, although they tried to tell everyone that they’re social workers for some generic non-profit (a lie which was exposed in their first foreign airport). I’ve seen Tiffany play — she made the top 20 in the 2008 World Series of Poker main event. That’s where I learned to loathe her. And it looks like her personality in this race isn’t too different from her personality at the poker table. They were the last team to arrive in the very first leg, and lucked out into a non-eliminiation stop. They recovered well, but I won’t be rooting for them.

Marcy & Ron: The dating oldsters, a staple of the race. Although I never would have guessed that they’re both 60; they look much more like 50 to me. Good for them. So far, they’re not standing out; middle of the pack in the race as well as in entertainment value.

Lance & Keri: He’s a laywer, and she has the thickest Boston accent I’ve ever heard. They’re engaged. So far he’s a big lunky meathead (it’s very hard to believe that he’s actually a lawyer) and she’s nondescript. He seems to have the potential to be a big, loud bully. It’ll be interesting to see if he starts dominating and pushing his teammate.

Herb & Nate: They’re two Harlem Globetrotters, and they’re not shy about letting everyone know. I’m going in not liking them, since my inside source tells me that when the Globetrotters came to WDW as VIP guests, they were rude jerks. Imagine mocking the other guests to their faces because they were given VIP treatment. Ugh. They’re going by their Globetrotter names on the show, but Phil called them by their real names, and so shall I.

Gary & Matt: One of the other teams dubbed them “Pinky and the Brain” because of Matt’s pink hair. They’re the classic father-and-son team who are so very different, and hope the race will bring them together. Gary has been very supportive of his son so far, and I think they’re going to do well. They’re also very likeable. I hope for a better team nickname.

Garrett & Jessica: Their relationship is that they’re “dating on and off”. Which means that they’ve broken up many, many times. Oh, that’ll make for good racing. They’re one of the many unlikeable, boring hetero couples the race always seems to get. At least we don’t have to worry about being bored by them; they were eliminated at the end of leg 2.

Brian & Ericka: A married interracial couple! She’s a former Miss America! And they both have dreams of being singers? Weird. So far, they’re like a thousand other hetero married/dating couples; calling each other “babe”, bickering and infighting, and getting red-faced and frustrated with each other. They may make for some good drama.

Eric & Lisa: Married yoga teachers. With tattoos. Riding a Harley together. He has hair long enough to put into a ponytail, which automatically places him in the “douche” column until proven otherwise. Sadly, he doesn’t have the chance to prove it otherwise — they were the team eliminated in the start city at the very first challenge. Toodles, guys!

Sam & Dan: Gay christian brothers. Now that sounds like a formula for good TV. They seem like OK guys, but they could easily turn douchey with the wrong moves. For now, they’re going to pretend to be straight in order to get in Maria & Tiffany’s good graces. I’m all for those two broads being duped, so go for it, boys.

Zev & Justin: Zev has Asperger’s Syndrome, and is a classic poster child for the social awkwardness. But he’s also very funny, and makes all sorts of great observations. Justin, according to his bio, is a VP for National Lampoon. Funny that his partner is the really funny one. They’re doing great so far, and right now they’re my team to root for.

Mika & Canaan: She’s a singer. He’s a songwriter. They’re both southern. According to his bio, Canaan’s favorite things to do with Mika are “writing songs and making out.” Stay classy, Canaan! I can’t remember which of the hetero-with-blonde teams, these two or Meghan & Cheyne, are the die-hard christians who don’t stop talking about their faith. All I know is that my fingers want to call these two “Mike & Cannan”.

Next week: things happen! People fight! Travel occurs! And I’ll be watching it all.

This entry was posted on Monday, September 28th, 2009 at 8:42 am and is filed under The Amazing Race, TV. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.