American Idol 9: Top 8 Girls!
The show is only an hour, which I love. Hopefully this means we’ll buzz through the show and have very little filler.
Although … nope, I was wrong. Because we have to see a horrible lingering shot of Ellen sitting on Simon’s lap, nuzzling the side of his head. This is gross in so many ways. Then we find out … the stakes are high! This is the girls’ last chance to impress! After this, it’s the big show!
Katie Stevens – We cut awkwardly and quickly to Katie, without an intro video package. She’s singing Kelly Clarkson’s “Breakaway”, and boy oh boy is she terrible. She sounds flat, and it’s all too low, and it sounds like she’s a half-beat off throughout the entire song. Like she’s clapping on the 1 and 3 when it should be the 2 and 4. Her final note stinks, and overall it was a ghastly performance. The judges both dislike her singing of the song and the fact that she’s too young to really be able to authentically emote. Plus, it’s always bugged me that the song’s title is “Breakaway” when it’s about breaking away. Shouldn’t it be “Break Away”? Meh. Oh, plus, Katie was eight years old when Kelly Clarkson won. WOW.
Siobhan Magnus – She gets to have a little pre-sing interview up in the red room, and she’s just as slow-spoken as usual. She’s doing “House of the Rising Sun” for her dad. It starts out without much musical backing, and it’s not good. She’s all over the place with her notes. Finally a guitar chimes in, and she’s able to find where she is. Stylistically, her lip gloss is too glossy and her soccer-mom hair continues to perplex me. The song plods slowly along, and is pretty darned boring. But she hits a good strong note in there, which is more than Katie did. Randy loves the risks she takes (Really, boring us is risky?), Ellen was moved, Kara loves her. At least Simon didn’t get it and calls her plodding and boring. I guess I just don’t understand what’s so great about this girl, because she’s as exciting as cottage cheese for me.
Lacey Brown – She’s singing a song called “The Story” from someone named Brandi Carlile. I had to look that one up, because I initially spelled both Brandy and Carlysle wrong. Most of the first half of the song is way too low, which is always ALWAYS a problem with the AI girls. It also fits in beautifully with this week’s theme, which is obviously “Boring and Plodding”. UGH! She sounds all right, I guess, but it’s nothing special. The judges, however, throw verbal roses at her. They can’t get enough of her particular style of boring!
Katelyn Epperly – Carole King’s “I Feel the Earth Move”, really? And she’s playing the keyboards! On the “cheesemaster organ” setting! While standing up! But they have the keyboard so low and the microphone so high, I feel like I’m stretching in sympathy just watching her. At least it’s a more upbeat song than what we’ve seen so far. She hits a couple of REALLY sour notes, but for the most part the rest of them are in the ballpark. And to be truly honest, just like with Matt Giraud, I can’t stop looking at the mysterious bump on her forehead. The judges don’t have much good to say about her performance, and accuse her performance of being safe, simple, and bland.
Didi Benami – She’s tackling some Fleetwood Mac. Her performance of “Rhiannon” is, actually, my favorite performance of hers so far in the semifinals. Sure it’s slow. But the notes are all there, she makes a few interesting changes, but not too many. She has the same weird voice (the kind I always compare to the background music on Grey’s Anatomy) as Lacey, but she has a lot more accuracy tonight. It’s the best thing so far tonight, although the show is backloaded with the two big stars at the end. The judges are unanimously positive.
Paige Miles – “Smile”, written by Charlie Chaplin. Wow — by content alone, it’s roughly equivalent to singing “I’m Going Home” or “See You Later Alligator”. She might as well sing a song called “Vote Me Out, America”. The key is wrong, it’s all too low, her voice is quavering as if she’s more nervous than ever before. There are some magnificently bad notes, it’s boring, and she ends with a limping whimper instead of a bang. This song will be perfect on Thursday, when she’s eliminated and she’s crying her face off. I haven’t checked over there yet, but I’ll wager that this week, this song put Paige on the top of the Vote for the Worst list.
Crystal Bowersox – She has the electric guitar, and she’s going to rock our sox with Tracy Chapman’s “Give Me One Reason”. Even in the soft first verse, the audience is clapping along. Compared to the six performances that came before, this one is in a class all its own. Well-sung, well-arranged, well-paced. She’s out there miles beyond the rest. Of course the judges all love on her, and call it the best performance of the night. Simon even tells her the competition is hers to lose.
Lilly Scott – Seacrest teases before the break that she’s doing Patsy Cline. I hope it’s not “Crazy”. Oh, good, it’s “I Fall to Pieces”. She has her own instrument — an adorable electric mandolin. Either way, if it hadn’t been for Crystal, she’d be the top performer tonight. Her quirky weird Grey’s voice actually fits well with the breaky-voice country sound. The judges like it — it’s not the glowing praise that Crystal got, but she’s still totally safe. Simon’s main complaint was that she drew the headlining slot and did something quirky instead of massively WOW.
Well then. Thank goodness it was only an hour, because it was SO DAMNED BORING. My bottom three are Katie, Katelyn, and Paige. I just checked, and the VftW gang are indeed backing Paige. But she was so terrible, I’m going to list her for elimination anyway, just because I really want her to have to sing that vote-me-off song after being voted off. So Paige and Katie for the loss this week.
