American Idol 9: Week 2 Boys
This week, the boys are performing on Tuesday because Crystal Bowersox is in the hospital. One has to wonder, would they have swapped everyone for just anyone? Or only for a clear front-runner? At any rate, we can only hope that all of our contestants have shed their first-night nerves and can get a little more bold and confident. And we can also hope that they all sing better.
Last week, Ellen wore a white button-up shirt with a loosely tied blue gingham necktie, which was adorable. Tonight it’s a khaki shirt and a white necktie, and she looks more like some 1940s explorer. Which is also kind of cool. She makes me want to go out and buy some ties.
Michael Lynche – In his pre-sing package, we see him weightlifting one of the tiny boy contestants, which is awesome. He’s singing James Brown’s “This Is a Man’s World”. Not exactly a song I think of as a real singer’s song. And the arrangement has some weird stops and starts. His energy is great, but the song, not so much. He’s still totally safe, and he’s headed straight for the top 12. The judges all love him.
John Park – He’s been blah and boring so far, and we didn’t get to know him very much during the audition rounds. He’s doing “Gravity” by John Mayer, and he’s battling being boring by sitting on a stool. YAWN. It’s a plodding song, and it sounds like it needs to be more bluesy than what he’s giving us. The judges like it better than last week, but still call him safe. And boring. And forgettable.
Casey James – He hasn’t had a TV since around age 7. So he’s a pop culture vacuum. He’s doing Gavin DeGraw’s “I Don’t Wanna Be”, which we’ve only heard a thousand or so times on American Idol. He has a pretty blue electric guitar, and he opens with some gentle shredding while we look at him with the down-low crotch cam. His voice is … okay? He’s hitting some of the notes right, but there’s a real shaky quality to his voice; not a full goat-bleat, but more like a nervous quaver. At the end, he shreds some more. Dude, this isn’t Guitar Idol. And get a haircut. The judges are split between yay and meh.
Alex Lambert – OH GOD THE MULLET MAKE IT STOP. He’s one of those stagefright guys who barfs before shows. This week he’s sitting on a stool, hiding behind his guitar while doing John Legend’s “Everybody Knows”. Man, I’d love this to be Leonard Cohen’s “Everybody Knows”. I’ll give the kid this much — he’s WAY better than last week. And he has a really nice tone to his voice. Good for him, that’s the kind of improvement we like to see. Now get a haircut. Of course, the judges are delighted with his improvement. Ellen puts it best with her banana-in-a-paper-bag analogy.
Todrick Hall – The lovely folks at Vote for the Worst have compiled a nice story about the Todrick scandal, and how he allegedly ripped off hundreds of parents and kids for a show he produced. Me, I just hate him because of his name. This week he’s singing Tina Turner’s “What’s Love Got to Do with It” while wearing a shiny, shiny jacket. He’s all about the runs and the fancy notes. I find his arrangement to be cheeseball lounge-singer stuff. The judges, for the most part, agree with me.
Jermaine Sellers – He starts his pre-sing package by saying, “It ain’t the clothes that make the person, it’s the person that makes the clothes.” So he sleeps in a onesie, and this week for the performance he’ll be wearing a bow tie and cardigan. Ghastly. He was “too old” last week, so he’s going to young it up this week with … Marvin Gaye. Oh, and his HAIR! It’s like the fauxhawk equivalent of a smurf’s hat. Dude, this is JUST as old-lady-request at the hotel cocktail lounge as last week. The low notes are off-key, and the high notes are super-shouty. The judges agree, and then he gets all backtalky in a weird religious way. He knows god, y’all.
Andrew Garcia – He’ll be doing James Morrison’s “You Give Me Something”. Not a song with which I’m familiar. He’s perched on a stool without his guitar, and he’s kind of boring out of the gate. I miss the Andrew of “Straight Up” in Hollywood. I still think he’s destined for the top 12, but this performance isn’t doing him any favors. Blah song, performed in a blah manner. The judges also all want the Andrew of “Straight Up” to come back. Stop with the mundane, Mr. Garcia!
Aaron Kelly – He claims he’ll have more confidence this week. But he’s going to sing “My Girl”, which seems like a corny old-timey choice than can only end in tears. He starts out without the band, which is a really weird choice. Then he’s all about the runs and showy notes, and he still has that nervous shaky sound in his voice. Especially his falsetto note, ugh. The judges all feel it’s an improvement over last week, but there’s some questions about song choice. IMHO, he may be better, but that doesn’t necessarily make him good.
Tim Urban – GET A HAIRCUT. He’s the male choice by the snarkers over at Vote for the Worst. And he came back after being eliminated, for good reason. He’s singing Matt Nathanson’s “Come on Get Higher” — never heard of it. He has a guitar this week, but it doesn’t keep him from sucking. His pitch is all over the place, his last note is just terrible. But the background singers are lovely. The judges mostly agree, although Simon gives him some cred for improving over the trainwreck that was last week. The forces of evil at VftW are behind him, so I think he’ll be in for at least another week.
Lee Dewyze – He was one of the top guys last week, and we didn’t really see much of him in Hollywood week. He’s singing “Lips of an Angel” from a band called Hinder. Both band and song names are unfamiliar to me. No guitar this week, and he’s carrying around the microphone stuck in a mike stand. Overall it’s all right, but it’s not a showstopper. He’s hitting some dud notes in there, but it’s mostly on-key. The song itself is vaguely familiar-sounding, but also it sounds like a hundred other late-’90s schlocky poprock songs.
Overall, it wasn’t an exciting night of music. A few guys are totally safe — Big Mike, Andrew, and Lee are totally headed for the top. Then there’s a cluster of harmless, okay-sounding guys in the middle of the pack: Casey, Aaron, Alex. The bottom of the pile is Tim, Jermaine, Todrick, and John. This week, I’d send home John for being the most boring, and Jermaine for not improving and, honestly, being a creepy zealot. Although it would also make my heart smile to see Todrick get the boot.
