American Idol: Top 10. R&B.
So it’s R&B week, with Usher as the mentor. I’ve looked at the song list, and there isn’t anything I’m really interested in hearing. So I’m going to blast through viewing the show as fast as possible, in order to save my sanity.
Siobhan: I still don’t get it. But even those who love her can surely hear how terrible she sounds tonight — her notes are all over the place, and where she’s not screaming, she’s whining. But she does have really cool high-top sneakers on. 4 out of 10.
Casey: A red guitar this week, and a chance to get a little bluesy. The song is musically boring (easy, safe), but he does all right with it, and gets in some good guitarin’. Nice horns section. 7 out of 10.
Big Mike: He’s up seated on the stage behind the judges, getting all soft with his guitar. And I don’t think soft works as well for Mike. It sounds all right, but it’s boring and plodding. Minus points for the boring, and for sitting in a place that makes me have to look into the bright lights. 6 out of 10.
Didi: She’s dressed to sing a torch song, but what comes out of her instead is a dated, plodding, “old”-sounding song. She’s flat in a lot of spots. She’s boring me. Her voice is all over the place. Dawg, it’s just not good. 5 out of 10.
Tim: I predicted in advance, without having seen the performances, that he’d be in the bottom three, but he’d cling on for yet another week. First: GET A HAIRCUT. Second: if this were a meal, it’d be corn covered with cheese. He can’t hit the high notes, nor the really low ones. And despite whining and twitching, he’s boring. And then he laughs at everything the judges say, which means points off. 4 out of 10.
Andrew: He’s perched up on a stool, with the acoustic guitar. It’s all right, he’s mostly on key, but he’s become so very boring. A little refining, and he could be on the radio right now. On one of those stations I don’t listen to, because the music is always boring and too damned commercial. 6 out of 10.
Backstage Cam: WTF is this crap? STOP IT.
Katie: Oh, that’s right! She’s still here! “Chain of Fools” is too old for her. And while she keeps more of the soul than Tim did, she’s still mostly soulless in this performance. Mostly in tune, but drab and dull. 6 out of 10.
Lee: Standing with a guitar, so at least he can be a little more dynamic than the stool-sitters. Nice and upbeat, and I think he’s learning to connect with the audience and camera a little better. Although the song itself is a bit repetitive (though I know now how to treat her [like a lady, if you're wondering]). The best male voice left in the competition. 8 out of 10.
Crystal: Her big amazing change-up: playing the piano instead of the guitar. And here’s the Sox difference — it’s a ballad, and it’s NOT boring. I actually wish she’d stay with the soft and moody, because it’s not quite as great when she stands up and wails a little. Not her best performance ever, but she’s still the top female in the show. 8 out of 10.
Aaron: It’s “Ain’t No Sunshine” time AGAIN (let’s retire this song, Idol), and I hope this time he does all 87 “I know”s. His voice sounds quavery and nervous at the beginning. He gets a little more into it, and his “I know” count is actually 14. Slightly more soul and emotion than Katie, and generally not TOO awful. 6 out of 10.
My bottom three are Tim, Didi and Siobhan. But I’ve already predicted that Tim is safe, and I think Siobhan’s incomprehensible fan base will save her. So it’s got to be Didi going home. Now I’m off to watch the results show, which I can probably tackle in under 7 minutes.
ETA: tackled the results show in 4 minutes. Siobhan didn’t even make bottom three! Her fanbase must be bigger than I thought. I DON’T GET IT! Anyhoo, I’m delighted and horrified that I was right about Tim. Toodles, Didi.
