I’m way, WAY behind on logging my books for the year. I’ll admit, I’m not hitting them as hard as I did in 2011, since last year I had the crazy goal to read 52 books in a year. I’m going a little easier on myself this year.

1. Time and Again by Jack Finney: A time-travel slash romance slash adventure, written in 1970. Not sure where I heard about this one (probably someone looking for good books on Ask Metafilter). It scratched the same kind of itch as the movie Somewhere in Time. A decent story, though the characters aren’t all that deep. 7 out of 10.

2. Everneath by Brodi Ashton: A young adult book “loosely based on the Hades & Persephone myth”. A girl is taken to the Everneath for 100 years, to serve as psychic food for an immortal dude. But when those 100 years are up (which is only 6 months or so on the surface), she’s allowed to return to our world for 6 months before she’s sucked back under forever. Despite the fact that her immortal dude is totally hot for her, and wants to make her immortal too, she spends the entire 6 months moping and mooning over another guy. Almost as unrelatable as Bella from Twilight. Apparently there will be sequels. 6 out of 10.

3. Empire of Ruins by Arthur Slade: Third in the Hunchback Assignments series, Modo the shape-shifter goes on another international steampunky adventure to battle the bad guys and yearn for his fellow agent, Octavia. These books are good, lighthearted reads. 7 out of 10.

4. The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern: This is a really hard book to explain well. But it’s all about magic and illusions and fascinating people and the amazing circus where most of the action happens. And I could barely put it down. 9 out of 10.

5. The Mark of the Golden Dragon by L.A. Meyer: What are we up to, something like number 8 in the Bloody Jack adventure series? Anyhoo, it’s another romp through the world of Jacky Faber, 1800s girl pirate. Some good adventure, but kind of a downer cliffhanger ending. Which will, of course, suck me in to read the next one. Which will probably be out late this year. 8 out of 10.

6 – 12. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling: I finally got the paperback box set at Costco (having sold off the heavy hardbacks when we moved from Seattle), so I figured I’d just sit down and read all seven books in order. Which I’d never done before. It was actually a really cool thing, following the entire story from beginning to end without having to wait a year between installments. I’m still not a huge fan of Order of the Phoenix because of the whole whiny-emo thing, but it was better than I remembered. Also, I wanted to see how fast I could make it through. Turns out exactly three weeks, reading for up to an hour before bed on weeknights and a few hours on the weekends. For the whole damn set, 9 out of 10.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go play a few rounds of Draw Something. Because I’m hopelessly addicted.

And so ends another year of reading! I finished book #62 at about 1:00 AM on January 1st, but since I’d read 95% of it in 2011, I’m counting it for that year.

57: The Highest Frontier by Joan Slonczewski: This was on the sci-fi new releases shelf at the library, so I gave it a shot. It’s about a girl from a family of politicians who goes to college in space. The jacket liner refers to this as “hard” science fiction, which just means it’s heavier on the actual science-science. And yeah, you can tell that the author is a microbiologist, because the book weighs heavily in that direction. It was interesting enough to finish, but a little too heavy and humorless to be my cup of tea. 6 out of 10.

58: Son of a Witch by Gregory Maguire: Number two in the Wicked series follows Liir, Elphaba’s son, as he grows from boy to man and has many adventures throughout Oz. If you liked Maguire’s original Oz book, you’ll most likely enjoy this one. Thing is, I actually ordered this book for delivery because I saw Out of Oz on the new releases shelf, and figured I should read this first. 7 out of 10.

59: Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs: I’d seen this book recommended in more than one place, so I picked it up. It’s a YA novel centering on Jacob, a 16-year-old whose grandfather told him stories of a childhood spent in a mysterious school in Wales where the children all had freaky talents. After his grandfather dies, Jacob travels to Wales to find out more about the school and the children. I wasn’t expecting the turns this book took, first into a time-travel adventure, then into an action-packed chase story. But overall it was quite enjoyable, even if Jacob wasn’t the most sympathetic lead character. Plus, the book has pictures throughout of the peculiar children, which are creepy and fascinating. 8 out of 10.

60: Curse of the Masking Tape Mummy by Scott Meyer: Yes, I’d read all of the comics before. But they’re all two or three years old, so I didn’t remember a lot of them. Plus, the commentaries and special features were new to me. I don’t know that I can fairly rate this book, since I’m married to the author and all. But to me, Scott’s writing is very clever and funny, and many of the comics and commentaries made me laugh out loud. On the minus side, I wish I’d read the commentaries and special features before the book went to print, because the copy editor missed … a few things. But overall, as with books 1 & 2, this one is good, good stuff.

61: 11/22/63 by Stephen King: Another giant, clocking in at just shy of 850 pages in the hardcover version, this is now possibly one of my top 5 Stephen King books. On its face, it’s a simple time-travel story — a man finds a way to go back to 1958, and spends 5 years in the past so he can stop Lee Harvey Oswald from killing JFK. But it’s full of interesting characters, creepy places, and lots of surprise left-hooks (as well as the clearly-telegraphed left-hooks that King specializes in ["Little did he know it'd be the last time he saw her alive." END CHAPTER]). It also contains some of the weirdness and mystical other-worldliness that King always includes, but it’s just enough, and not too much. Could it have used some more editing? Of course. What King novel couldn’t? But the five years in the past could have dragged on, and it actually cooked along at a good clip. It’s a great step up from Under the Dome in pacing, characters, and story. 9 out of 10.

62: Out of Oz by Gregory Maguire: This is the book that took me into 2012. There’s actually another book in the Oz series that takes place sort of between Son of a Witch and this one, but I didn’t know that until I picked this book up. Oh well; book 3 is more about the Cowardly Lion, and they gave a brief synopsis at the start of this 4th book, so I figured I’d blaze on ahead. This one is about Liir’s daughter, Rain, and her life and adventures from age 8-ish to 15-ish. Yes, the book is that vague. It was frequently hard to tell how much time was passing in any given circumstance. I’m glad I finished the series, especially for the surprise twist ending, but I’m afraid this one, like #58 before it, will fall under the “good but not great” category. 7 out of 10.

I had to go to the post office today, but our nearest post office is actually inside our nearest shopping mall. So I had to brave the Black Friday madness!

It actually wasn’t that bad. I parked around the backside, where I usually go, and got a spot that wasn’t exactly rock-star-parking, but it was certainly bar-band-with-a-following parking. In the central rotunda, I saw this:

You can see Santa down there, in the middle of what looks to be a baffling and overstimulating maze. Good luck, kids.

I browsed a few stores, but the lines were massive. And they didn’t have anything I wanted. Is it just me, or is it hard to find sweaters that aren’t coarse and stiff this season? Either that, or they have a massive cowl neck and short sleeves. The short-sleeved sweaters are everywhere.

Although I’m a fan of a good droopy cowl neck. Still, the short sleeves need to go. It’s not that cold out here in Florida, but the office I’m working in is usually freezing. Guess I’ll keep looking. Either that, or I’ll whip up something long-sleeved and fleecy on the ol’ sewing machine.

The malls are also boasting a look we refer to as “Vulcan air hostess” this season:

We borrowed “Vulcan air hostess” from Stacy London on an episode of What Not to Wear. Amazing how the look has stayed around. And speaking of WNtW, the new season starts up again this week. Can’t wait, love the show, though after watching it for 20 seasons or however long it’s been on, you’d think I’d dress less like a schlub.

Costco has a ton of gifts, a surprising number of which are Hello Kitty. There’s a Hello Kitty projection alarm clock. A Hello Kitty sewing machine. A Hello Kitty microwave oven. A Hello Kitty mini-fridge, just big enough to hold a 6-pack of pop cans. And the weird yet wonderful Hello Kitty water dispenser.

Most of these things also came in Julius, who’s also cute. But I’d totally go Hello Kitty. I already have the Hello Kitty humidifier by my bedside. The water dispenser is pretty small — I think it only holds 8 glasses of water. And it has encouragement to “drink 8 glasses” printed on the side of the bottle.

We ventured out to a Barnes & Noble bookstore for the first time in ages this past week, to see our friends Jen & John do a signing for their most recent Cake Wrecks book, Wreck the Halls. They had a good turnout:

And they gave a very entertaining show. I can see that it would be tough to build a “reading” around a book that’s mostly pictures, and they did a great job building a presentation that works.

At every stop on their book tour, a local baker made them a cake. The Orlando cake had a great rendition of the book cover, as well as a “carrot jockey”:

Scott said the cake was very good. I believe it was piña colada flavored, possibly also with raspberry.

They also had a guest book, signed by people from all of the stops on their book tour. It was cool to see all the lovely things written by all the lovely people throughout the US and Canada. My favorite, though, was an entry from a kid:

“Love cake I”. Says it all. Makes me think of the original Star Trek, and “NO KILL I”.

Which is appropriate, because Jen & John are geeks.

On the way home from the signing, which took place in a part of Orlando we rarely visit, we saw Beefy King.

If they’d been open, I might have tried them. Sadly, I guess Beefy King calls it a night pretty early in the evening.

In health and cat news, my finger is healing up great, it’s all scabby now. The antibiotics are doing their thing, and I’m infection-free. The cats appear to be killing off fleas very well, and both seem happier and less twitchy-scratchy. Although Commie has scabs on his back, he’s a lot less tender to the touch. I’m giving them daily comb-outs to get rid of the last of the flea dirt and eggs.

We’ve also salted the carpets, and are waiting a week to vacuum it back up. I have no idea how well it’s working on drying out and/or eviscerating the fleas with its razor-sharp crystals, but at least I don’t have to worry about having poison on my floors. At any rate, we’re seeing far fewer fleas, and those that I’m finding are usually dead or very sluggish.

Commie is, in fact, more affectionate than usual. I’m sure we’re just anthropomorphising, but we feel like they know we’ve helped them banish the itchies and they’re thankful for it. He’s also become a huge fan of our desktops. Although usually, he’ll lay on my hand or stand up in front of the screen, blocking any kind of work.

My next task for the long weekend is to put up decorations. I just did the lights out on the deck; next will be the tree with its silver piggybank topper.

Instead of our tree, though, I’ll leave you with this decorative item from the local outlet mall.

WHAT?!

With this batch, I pass my goal of 52 books for the year. It’ll be interesting to see how many I end up with.

46. Full House by Janet Evanovich: Did you know that Janet Evanovich wrote a bunch of romance novels way before the Stephanie Plum books? This is one originally from 1989. (My library didn’t have a lot of Evanovich to choose from on the shelf). It’s pretty standard fare — two people are outrageously attracted to each other, but distrust each other for whatever reasons. There’s also a bit of mystery and danger thrown in. Finishable, but not thrilling. 6 out of 10.

47. Carte Blanche: 007 by Jeffrey Deaver: I’ve never read any of the original Ian Fleming 007 stories. (Although Scott read Goldfinger, and reported back that it was paced shockingly slow, and it was full of non-action.) But I’ve seen almost all of the movies. I think Deaver was trying to capture the modern Daniel Craig version of 007. Or maybe not, because this Bond is kind of boring. And seriously, M is a chick now. Don’t write M as a dude. It did pick up as the story progressed, but the brash, ballsy womanizer Bond isn’t really here. 6 out of 10.

48. Dreadnought by Cherie Priest: Taking place in the same universe as Boneshaker (book #10 this year), a Civil War-era widow travels across the country to find her father in Seattle. Along the way, there are steampunky adventures galore. Dirigibles! Armored trains! Giant steam-powered Imperial Walker-style weapons! Throw in good helpings of blood, gunfire, and handsome men, and you have a rollicking good steampunk time. 8 out of 10.

49. Hellbent by Cherie Priest: Another sequel by Priest, this one follows up Bloodshot (#15) and improves on it. Raylene the OCD vampire cat-burglar goes on another adventure with her sidekick, the ex-SEAL drag queen. This time, they have two quests: to settle a dispute between two big-time vampire communities, and to find a crazy lady who’s been making magic spells using the penis bones of supernatural animals. And seriously, it’s weirder than you think. But well-written and fun. 8 out of 10.

50. The Magician King by Lev Grossman: Sequel to this year’s first book, The Magicians. I didn’t even know this existed until I saw it on the new sci-fi rack at the library. It wasn’t sorted under young adult, which is probably a good thing. Even though the characters are young, there’s a lot that’s not appropriate for the kids. Anyhoo, the lead from the first book, Quentin, goes on an adventure where every step takes him from bad to worse to horrible. The characters still aren’t terribly likeable, but we get some backstory on Quentin’s friend, Julia, that shows why she became that way. An interesting universe, and a more interesting book than the first. 7 out of 10.

51. Heat Rises by Richard Castle: They keep churning these books out, and I keep reading them. I’m still madly in love with the show Castle, and this third book (just like the other two) reads like an extended episode with different character names. From frothy and light to dangerous and deadly, this book keeps the balance that makes me adore the show so much. But like all Nikki Heat books, it could have been longer (although this is the longest of them all, I believe). 8 out of 10.

52. Original Sin: A Sally Sin Adventure by Beth McMullen: Former spy Sally Sin opted to leave her agency, get married under an assumed name, and have a kid. But of course, the agency can’t leave her be. It’s an interesting premise, and clearly it’s going to be the first of a series. But I had a hard time figuring out what attracted Sally to the blandish man she married. And the very idea of being a stay-at-home mom to a toddler fills me with horror. At least McMullen wasn’t shy about writing the ugly tantrum-rich parts. The best parts of the book were the flashbacks to Sally’s past missions. I’ll read more if McMullen writes more. 7 out of 10.

53. Wheat Belly by William Davis: I read Dr. Davis’s blog, so most of the concepts in this book were familiar to me. Turns out the wheat we eat today is nothing like the wheat of our ancestors — it’s been genetically manipulated and hybridized into something completely different. Now it’s full of inflammatory proteins and immune-disrupting chemicals and anti-nutrients that actually leach minerals out of your body. And it’s never actually been tested to see if it’s fit for human consumption. I don’t eat wheat anymore, but if I did, reading this book would probably inspire me to throw out the bread. There are also recipes and a diet plan for those who say, “I could NEVER give up my bread / pasta / whatever wheaty treaty.” 9 out of 10.

54. Reamde by Neal Stephenson: This book was seriously enormous — over a thousand pages. Stephenson is right up there with Stephen King for writing books that are too damned long. And through the first few chapters, as we meet Richard Forthrast (creator of the multi-billion-dollar MMORPG T’Rain) and his niece Zula, I wondered where the hell this book was going. But soon we met some fascinating characters, and some interesting crap started happening, and I couldn’t put the book down. Although I had to be careful reading it in bed, so I didn’t slip and whack myself in the head. Like Ready Player One (#44), some action takes place in an online virtual world, but for the most part it’s out in meatspace. Great heroes to root for, and great villains to root against. And one side character who I hope gets his own book. 9 out of 10.

55. The Hunchback Assignments by Arthur Slade: This is the first in a series, and I’m glad for that. Another young adult steampunk book, but one with an intriguing twist — the lead character, Modo, was rescued from his childhood in a traveling freak show by the mysterious Mr. Socrates, and trained to be a secret agent. Normally a hunchback with an apparently hideous face, he has the unique ability to shape-shift his appearance to look like other people. He and his fellow agent, the gorgeous Octavia (of course, she’s never seen his real face), both a mere 15 years old, must try to find out why children all over London are disappearing. The book is a fascinatingly weird cross of Quasimodo, the Phantom of the Opera, and a buddy cop film. 8 out of 10.

56. City of Glass by Cassandra Clare: This third in the Mortal Instruments series, after City of Bones and City of Ashes (#28 & #29), takes the action away from New York and off to the ancestral home of the Shadowhunters, who are half-angels who spend their time hunting and slaying demons. We finally find out that the two leads are in fact NOT brother and sister, which makes their love OK. Although through the first two books, it was unsettling. Still, there was a good bit of action and suspense and mystery, and I’d say this book is the best of the three. 8 out of 10.

This year is just hauling along. It’s been a busy little while here.

Job: Two days ago, I started a temporary assignment. At Disney, a TA is where you’re pulled from your regular area to do something a bit more specific and skill-tastic. This job is only for a couple of months, covering for someone who’s covering for someone who’s doing a holiday-specific job. It’s over in the talent casting and booking area, which is a department that’s had me in its pre-approved employee pool for 3 years or so. It’s nice to finally get a short sample job over there to see what it’s like, and if I like it, and if they like me. So far, it’s interesting work — booking musicians and variety acts.

And let me tell you, if you can come up with a variety act that’s unique yet fascinating, there’s definitely a living to be made at it. So far I’ve written up orders for stilt walkers, sword swallowers, living statues, and various other cool weird things. I really need to come with some sort of act.

TV: What with me and Scott on contrasting schedules, we’ve had to hack away at our season passes. Out with Unforgettable (totally forgettable) and Pan Am (meh). Also out with Terra Nova (cool concept, but the surly teen aspect is always a ruiner) and long-time favorite Survivor (they finally got too repetitive for us). We’re backed up on, but plan to keep watching, Person of Interest (although it’s all for Michael Emerson, since we don’t care for the whispery acting of Jim Caviezel) and The Walking Dead. We’re also a couple of weeks behind on The Amazing Race, sadly. Fortunately, Project Runway is done (we liked Anya), but it’s quickly replaced by Project Accessory (haven’t sampled episode one yet), Work of Art (worth it just to hear people say the name “The Sucklord”), and Top Chef Texas. Reality overload!

Books: I’ll throw down some reviews soon — when I’m done with the massive over-1000-page tome that Scott recommended.

Holidays: I only bought one bag of Halloween candy. I let myself get the one thing I really wanted, and I ended up with candy corn. I know it’s just corn syrup and wax, but darn it, that stuff is SO GOOD. I was in Macy’s a couple of days before Halloween, and they had their Xmas decorations up. Seriously. I mean, the lights and fake trees and stuff for sale at Costco in August is one thing. Actually decorating your store with them before Halloween is something else entirely.

Pop: I’ve embarked on the quest to give up Diet Coke. I was drinking the equivalent of six cans per day, which was WAY too much. Not only too much caffeine, but also just too much artificial sweetener. The cruise at the beginning of the month helped, because we would have needed to pay $60 in order to get refillable mugs for pop. We spent the week beforehand going through withdrawal, and just had iced tea and water on the cruise. Nowadays, I got some really nice lemon juice from the Costco, and have club soda with lemon for something fizzy. I can’t say that I feel a lot healthier, but it’s nice to not feel like I NEED a bottle of pop. I did have a single cup of caffeine-free Diet Coke from the fountain at Chick-Fil-A the other day, and it was a delightful treat. Which is what it should stay.

Hair: Last but not least, this stuff is driving me crazy. I’m keeping the back and sides trimmed up so that the top can grow out, and my horrible discovery is that my hair likes to grow straight forward. Check out how it dries — I brushed it straight back, with a little bit of styling product in there. Over time, it made its way forward.

Yes, yes, I need to color those roots. Thing is, I can’t be without clips or bobby pins or a hairband to keep this out of my face. Because there’s SO MUCH that wants to be in my face. And this being Florida, where even in the cold weather it’s relatively humid, no styling product stands a chance. I could use my industrial-strength hairspray at the beginning of the day, and at the end, the hair is back to being a flat, lifeless sheet of blah. It doesn’t help that my hair is baby-fine, and that I have a metric ton of it.

I’m thinking this weekend I may recolor, and then hack back to the pixie cut. Because a forehead full of hair will never be acceptable to me, and neither will needing to pull it back and clip it every day. That’s why I cut it short in the first place.

Here I thought I was over 50 by now. Oh well, that goal is in sight. I should beat down my goal of 52 books for the year with ease at this pace.

42. Dracula in Love by Karen Essex: Yet another romantic retelling of a classic novel. Many years ago, I read Susan Kay’s Phantom, which was a pretty good trashy read. This particular book is the contents of Dracula, but retold from Mina’s point of view. In reading it, I realized that I’ve never actually read the original Dracula — I’ve only ever seen movies. So I should really get the original. Heck, it’s probably free through Kindle. Anyhoo, besides the name that doesn’t quite fit the point of view (“The Count” is a mysterious character who doesn’t get all that much face time in this one, so why does he get the title?) the book was OK. I’d classify it as semi-trashy summer reading. 7 out of 10.

43. Fat Vampire by Adam Rex: A young adult book about what would happen if an awkward, pudgy 15-year-old was turned into a vampire. On one hand, it was a well-written book. On the other hand, the subject matter was generally depressing and sad. Even when the kid starts getting into his vampire powers, I still cringed with embarassment for him most of the time. Extra points for an ending I didn’t see coming. 7 out of 10.

44. Ready Player One by Ernest Cline: It’s the year 2044. The world isn’t doing so hot, so most people escape into OASIS, a virtual world that’s part MMORPG, part Second Life, part Daemon, and all awesome. That alone would be enough to draw me in. But no, there’s more. The inventor of OASIS died a few years back, and set a challenge: solve his in-OASIS scavenger hunt/riddles/puzzles, and you can win his entire fortune. And since the inventor was born in 1972 (just like me), he had a mad love for all things ’80s. So players of 2044 have to know their ’80s trivia inside and out in order to succeed. Add in lots of awesome action both in-OASIS and out in the real world, some great characters, and more in-jokes for my generation than you can shake a stick at, and you have what is possibly the best book I’ll read all year. I may have to check out the audiobook too, since it was read by Wil Wheaton. 10 out of 10.

45. The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger: I resisted this one primarily because of the movie. Which has Eric Bana in it. I don’t quite know what it is about him that I don’t like. It’s partly because of his character in the Star Trek reboot, but it’s more than that. Anyhoo, the book was referenced in another book as a great example of first-person perspective for multiple characters, so I decided to finally read it. And I seriously couldn’t put it down, at least until I was at work and realized, this is getting really weepy at the end, I have to save the last 50 pages for home. At times funny, poignant, and crushingly sad, I can see why this book is so beloved. I guess now I’ll have to check out the movie anyway. 9 out of 10.

I really should get to my books posts more often than every two months. I run the risk of forgetting everything about them.

33. Hybrids by Whitley Strieber: Another one from the “new and bestselling” rack at the library. Strieber is hit or miss for me — some books are good, and others are a little too “seriously, I was abducted by aliens”. This one was, fortunately, fiction. Alien/hybrid supersoldiers, crafted here on Earth as part of super secret experiments, have to fight other alien/hybrid creatures (from later experiments by the same super secret guys) who want to take over the world. The concept is an interesting one, but the writing got confusing in a lot of places. I had to go over things more than once to figure out who was doing what and why. Still, a fair read. 6 out of 10.

34. One for the Money by Janet Evanovich
35. Two for the Dough by Janet Evanovich
36. Three to Get Deadly by Janet Evanovich
After reading and liking one Evanovich book, I finally decided to crack into the Stephanie Plum series. It appears there are 17 of the damned things, so I have more reading ahead of me. Anyhoo, the first three were conveniently compiled in a huge tome called Three Plums in One. It turns out I like bounty hunter Stephanie Plum a lot — a spunky but flawed heroine like in Wicked Appetite — but her fashion sense leaves much to be desired. Clearly these first books were written in the ’90s, with classic ghastly ’90s ensembles ranging from the big t-shirt over bike shorts to the denim shirt with denim jeans. Also, I was constantly weirded out by Evanovich’s use of the word “pocketbook” to describe a large tote bag. For me, a pocketbook is a small clutch, or one of those clutch-sized wallets women carry in their purse that has room for the checkbook and a bunch of coupons. Reading about someone pulling a gun out of their pocketbook is just silly for me. Nevertheless, good books, and a consistent level of writing. All three: 8 out of 10.

37. Little Fuzzy by H. Beam Piper: In my previous batch, I reported on John Scalzi’s reimagining, Fuzzy Nation. I’m glad I read the original too. They’re both good books, and Scalzi made enough changes that his stands well on its own. Piper’s book had maybe a couple of human characters too many, and I sometimes got them confused. But it’s a great story, and I see why so many people count it among their favorite sci-fi books. 8 out of 10.

38. The Red Garden by Alice Hoffman: This book, by the author of Practical Magic, is a gentle tour through the history of a town and the people living in it. Which sounds boring, but it’s not. Well, it might be. It’s really a hard book to describe, and the type I could never write — it’s miles away from my style. But it’s a little bit of magic, a little bit of unconventional romance, and a lot of subtle humor. 7 out of 10.

39. Star Island by Carl Hiassen: The exact opposite of subtle. I’m not sure if I’ve read some of his fiction before — maybe years ago. I did read Team Rodent: How Disney Devours the World, which was a collection of some very sour grapes (although I might be biased). But I keep hearing about how funny his books are, and Star Island has been on the “new and bestselling” shelf for quite a while. So I gave it a try. The whole thing stuck me as a case of trying too hard — a lot of the names, situations, and dialog were outlandish and over the top. Maybe that’s his thing, and maybe that’s what his readers like. Not, however, my bag. 5 out of 10.

40. Heartless by Gail Carriger: Fourth in the “Parasol Protectorate” series, and the first of them to actually mention the concept of a Parasol Protectorate. Previously, I gave Soulless (book 1) an 8, Changeless (book 2) a 5, and Blameless (book 3) a 6. I’m glad I stuck with the books, because this most recent book gets back to the same tone and type of content that I enjoyed in the first book. Despite the lead being pregnant to almost-bursting, she takes on mysteries and adventures with aplomb. There’s no more of that horrible romantic misunderstanding trope, hooray! My only question is, what happened to the Templars? Perhaps book 5 will tell, and I’ll definitely be reading it. Thanks, Gail Carriger, for getting things back on track. 8 out of 10.

41. Hull Zero Three by Greg Bear: A man wakes up in a pool of freezing goo, on a spaceship partly burned and mangled, partly full of monsters, and littered with dead bodies. Finding a motley crew of survivors along the way, goo-man needs to find out: What happened? Where are they headed? Who is he? And what was up with the freezing goo? Fortunately, most questions are answered by the end. It’s an interesting concept, and I read through this book pretty fast, wondering what was going to happen next. It got a little weirder than weird in spots, but overall it was good space opera. For an extra laugh, the library lists one of this book’s categories as “low temperature engineering – fiction”. I had no idea such a category existed. I guess freezing goo isn’t all that unique. 7 out of 10.

23. The Prince of Beverly Hills by Stuart Woods: Our library doesn’t have many books by Stuart Woods that aren’t part of the Stone Barrington series. This was one of the scant non-Stones. I don’t know why I have a thing about a hero named Stone, but I do. Anyhoo, the story takes place in the ’30s, about a cop who goes to work for a movie studio. It’s crime-mystery with a touch of humor and romance, which is classic Woods. My big problem is that the two male leads have the last names Barron and Barrow. My slightly less big problem is that none of the lead characters are all that exciting or sympathetic. The cop, who gets the titular prince nickname, just has jobs and money thrown at him as he goes through life. I just got the sequel from the library, with hopes that it gets better. 6 out of 10.

24. Me, Myself and Why? by MaryJanice Davidson: I would totally have used the serial comma in this title. But I’m all Oxford like that. This is a sort of chick-lit-ish story about a woman with multiple personalities who’s part of a secret branch of the FBI. Seriously. This branch of the FBI staffs sociopaths, kleptomaniacs, and various other non-neurotypicals, all of whom look at cases from … unusual angles. It’s a fascinating idea, hindered by the fact that the lead personality is a prim and proper milksop who nobody would ever want to identify with. At least the actual police procedural part is interesting, and the whodunit is an actual surprise. 6 out of 10.

25. The Colour of Magic by Terry Pratchett
26. The Light Fantastic by Terry Pratchett
I’m lumping the first two books of Pratchett’s Discworld series together, because they really are like two halves of one story. Sadly, it wasn’t a story that really pulled me in. I think part of the problem is that women like to have a female character to relate to, and these books only had a few crudely-sketched females on the sidelines. Also, it felt at times like Pratchett was trying really, really, really hard to be Douglas Adams. Also, after the story, there’s a page titled “Discworld ‘Map’”. Then there’s no map, just the quote: “There are no maps. You can’t map a sense of humor.” -Terry Pratchett. I can’t imagine I’m the only person who finds this to be both a cop-out and an insult, especially because I didn’t find either book terribly funny. Both books: 5 out of 10.

27. Equal Rites by Terry Pratchett: I only got book 3 of Discworld because Scott told me it’s different from the first two, and has a female lead character. It was slightly better than the others, although Pratchett was still trying way too hard to be funny. Also, I was near the end of the book and wondered, How the hell is he going to wrap up all of this stuff? The answer: quickly and incompletely. It felt as rushed as the end of that one season of LOST during the writer’s strike. With this, I think I’m done with all things Discworld. 6 out of 10.

28. City of Bones by Cassandra Clare
29. City of Ashes by Cassandra Clare
Parts 1 and 2 of the 3-part Mortal Instruments series. I first read Clare’s Clockwork Angel, which takes place in the same universe but in the steampunky past. These City books take place in our present day, but it’s the same mix of vampires, werewolves, warlocks, and our heroes, the half-angel shadowhunters who slay demons. The characters are interesting-ish, there’s some good action, but it’s a little too incesty for my YA tastes. Still, I’ll finish the series. Both books: 7 out of 10.

30. Wicked Appetite by Janet Evanovich: Believe it or not, I’ve never read any Evanovich. She’s written a boatload of books, with a combination of action, humor, and romance. I just haven’t had one fall into my hands. This one is clearly the first book in a new series, involving a cupcake baker who turns out to have the ability to sense magical objects, and the tall-buff-and-handsome likewise magical man who leaps into her life. I’m so glad I saw this on the “new and bestselling” shelf at the library and gave it a chance, because I really like Evanovich’s style. I intend to check out her bestselling Stephanie Plum books, and just picked up the first three stories together in one massive tome. 8 out of 10.

31. The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Playing Bass Guitar by David Hodge: In my ongoing mission to apparently own every four-stringed instrument, I got a bass for my birthday. Along with another ukulele. Anyhoo, I got this to flip through for a foundation, even though I’m so hustle-hustle with work I won’t get much chance to work on playing for a while. I learned a surprising amount of stuff, not just about bass but also music theory and chord structure. This was a really nice introduction to the instrument, and included a lot of clearly-written stuff to help you understand the fundamentals of music. 8 out of 10.

32. Fuzzy Nation by John Scalzi: One of my favorite modern sci-fi authors took one of his favorite ’60s sci-fi stories and reimagined it. Based on H. Beam Piper’s 1962 novel Little Fuzzy, this book deals with the discovery of a new species of mammal on a faraway planet, and the fight to determine that species’ sentience. The fight is compounded by the fact that the faraway planet can be mined for the very rare and very valuable sunstones, and if a sentient creature is discovered, the mining would have to halt. I haven’t seen Avatar, but I have a feeling I’d still like this book more. I’ve also acquired the original Little Fuzzy for free on Kindle, and from the quarter or so I’ve read so far, Scalzi has taken what was merely a good story and made it great. Not surprising. 9 out of 10.

XX. Of Love and Evil: Songs of the Seraphim, Book 2 by Anne Rice: I grabbed this off the “new and bestselling” shelf, not realizing that it’s the second book in a series. I hadn’t read any Rice since she got religious, and I wanted to see what it did to her writing. I struggled through the first couple of chapters, about a guy who I think is an assassin, but has angels following him around. He gets weepy a lot, and not much happened, and it was so angels-are-awesome and crybaby-assassin that I couldn’t read any more. Unfinished.

I now have three weeks of resort work under my belt. And I’ll have a bit more before my real job begins — they’ve pushed back my classroom learning another month, so I’ll be toting luggage for a little while more. No worries, friends. I’m okay with it.

I’ve acquired more bruises on my legs, and a nice spot of rug-burn on my knee from one particularly well-upholstered suitcase. I asked the nurse at my gastroenterologist’s office if my easy bruising was due to the combination of medications I’m taking, and she said, “Probably, I guess.” I looked at the safety info sheet that came with one of the drugs, and it reads: “Contact your doctor at once if you develop easy bruising or bleeding.” Awesome!

In the same doctoring vein, I’ve made an appointment with my HMO to get a new referral to a new gastroenterologist. Hopefully I can find someone who’s willing to discuss things instead of demand things, and who knows that after you make your patient cry, you should save complaining to your staff about what a whiner she is until you know she’s left the building.

I have a few books on my to-review list, although my reading speed has gone down dramatically this month. I’ll blame that on the one-two punch of a physically tiring job and the acquisition of Portal 2. I watched Scott play the single-player game, and now I’m over halfway through my own run. Plus we’re also tackling the co-op game. As I suspected, it’s going to earn a place on my top 7 games list. I’d also rearrange the bottom two, so The Saboteur stays at #7 and The Neverhood falls to #8.

If you’ve played any Portal, you’ll know what I was thinking about when I used the back stairway to visit the doctor’s office:

We’re excited to have a Seattle friend visiting this afternoon — he’s a stand-up comedian, doing a corporate gig in Tampa this morning, then driving out to see us. We’ll most likely take him out to the Magic Kingdom, then find a place with some good key lime pie.

He’ll have to head out before the night gets too late, because I think he flies out of Tampa tomorrow morning around 7. So we should also be able to see the finale of The Biggest Loser tonight. I’m delighted that my first-day favorite, Olivia, is still in it to win. In other reality news, however, I’m not even recording the American Idol finale. I have no interest in either of those country kids, and have fast-forwarded past their performances all season long. I also think that little Chelsea Kane deserves to win Dancing with the Stars, but I’m conflicted because I have a feeling that I couldn’t stand her partner, Mark Ballas, in person.

I’m so behind on my book log. The sticky-note with my list on it has no more room. Here’s what I’ve tackled!

13. Fathom by Cherie Priest: I got this one off the library shelf, having read Boneshaker (#10) and requested Bloodshot (#15) for future delivery. It’s not her best, the beginning is kind of a mishmash of action that made me not entirely sure what was going on, and it took until the middle of the book before I realized it didn’t take place in present times. A character had to remark on how unusual it was for a woman to wear pants, which made me flip to the dust jacket. Sure enough, 1930s. But nothing else up until then really told me so. Least of the Priests. 6 out of 10.

13-1/2: The Gone-Away World by Nick Harkaway: This is a half-book, because I didn’t finish it. It starts in a futuristic dystopia where everyone lives close to a pipeline that circles the globe. Then it heads into the lead character’s backstory, and it just lost me. It took me a week to make it through four chapters, so instead of grinding on, I sent it back.

14. Rapture of the Deep by L.A. Meyer: Number seven in Meyer’s series about Bloody Jack, a girl pirate in the 1800s. Another fun adventure with a group of fun characters (and some new ones to boot). 8 out of 10.

15. Bloodshot by Cherie Priest: How can you go wrong with a lady vampire who’s also a cat burglar? Humorous, some good action and adventure, and an interesting set of characters. There was a tiny splash of almost-romance, but in my opinion she ends up with the wrong guy at the end. 7 out of 10.

16. Hothouse Orchid by Stuart Woods: There’s a Woods book (White Cargo) on my paperback shelf. He specializes in lightly humorous action-mysteries. Orchid isn’t better than Cargo, but it’s still pretty good. Woods’s characters seem to mostly be forty- or fifty-somethings, which is nice — you don’t stop having adventure once you pass the big 4-0. I think this is actually a sequel, but it’s written with just enough backstory that you get the gist of what’s gone before. Every lead in a Stuart Woods book is also a private pilot — must be his obsession, like classic cars are for Clive Cussler. 7 out of 10.

17. Nation by Terry Pratchett: Believe it or not, this is the first Pratchett book I’ve ever read. Scott just tackled the first Discworld book, so I’ve put in a hold request for that. As for Nation, it was an interesting young adult cultures-colliding story. I like his writing style, and I hear that there’s more humor in his adult works, so I’m looking forward to reading more. 7 out of 10.

18. Y: The Last Man (Book 2) by Brian K. Vaughan and Pia Guerra: I don’t know if I’m going to continue with the series. I still don’t really care for the last man himself, and by this point his group has been on the road 18 months, and they still haven’t made it from Washington DC to California. Seriously? I mean, I understand the story is in what happens along the way, but it’s too much interruptions and not enough base story for me. 6 out of 10.

19. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak: A young adult drama recommended by more than one person, about a young girl growing up in Nazi Germany. Narrated by Death, which sounds like a really weird point of view, but it totally works. I liked the characters, the story, the writing — when you consider that this book and Twilight are both in the same category, it makes you want to punch Stephenie Meyer in the junk even harder than you otherwise would. 9 out of 10.

20. The Wake of the Lorelei Lee by L.A. Meyer: Number eight of the Bloody Jack books, and the last one so far. The series as a whole was some entertaining light YA reading, with a nice dose of adventure and action. This one threw in some new characters near the end, who I hope we see more from in the next book. Hopefully there will be a next book. 8 out of 10.

21. Sex and the Single Vampire by Katie MacAlister: So at my local library, the romance section sits right up against the sci-fi section. I looked over, and this title caught my eye. Although I thought from the title, the lady in the romance would be the vampire. Not so — he’s a vampire, she’s a summoner of spirits, and together they find hot, steamy love and battle some bad-guy psychics. Light filler reading, but nothing to seek out. 6 out of 10.

22. Clockwork Angel by Cassandra Clare: First of the “Infernal Devices” series, and the only one published so far (book 2 will be out in 2011, book 3 in 2012). A teenage girl learns about her shape-shifting powers and is thrown into a world of half-angels, vampires, warlocks, and a mysterious and dangerous organization. It’s Victorian England, and steampunky as heck. Apparently this series serves as somewhat prequels to Clare’s existing “Mortal Instruments” series (3 books published so far, with 3 more set in the next 3 years). I like me the YA steampunk, and this was entertaining, so I’ll be sure to get the other two when they come out. I’ve put a hold on the first of the Mortal Instruments, which I think take place in modern-day. 8 out of 10.

XX. Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson: I checked my archives and didn’t see this book reviewed. I’m not counting it in 2011, since I read it back in June of 2010. But was was quite good, and I wanted to make sure I mentioned it. The book takes place in the maybe-near future, when corporations run everything and peole spend a ton of time in cyberspace (pretty predictive, written in 1992). When Scott described a lead named Hiro Protagonist, I thought I’d hate the book immediately. But it was a really entertaining adventure, with Hiro and company solving the mystery of a new drug, called Snow Crash, that’s both a computer virus for your avatar, and a real-life virus in the real world. 8 out of 10.