It’s been an adventure-filled week, and I still haven’t done my baking yet. That’ll be this evening.

We went out to Epcot on Wednesday night with some friends; it’s always nice to hit the theme parks in December to see the decorations, and we hadn’t seen the seasonal add-on fireworks at the end of the Illuminations: Reflections of Earth show.

First, I played around with some new camera apps for my phone. This is from the HDR app, and the water of the fountain came out creepy cool. You can see Scott peeking in on the side. I like this HDR app, and may actually upgrade to the paid version eventually. It’s “HDR Camera” in the Android Market.

We got a nice lagoon-side spot to watch the fireworks, although from over in France where we were, there was an island blocking the big globe. That’s OK, I’m not a fan of the globe parts anyway.

The extra fireworks on the end were so over-the-top, I giggled like an idiot all through them. Also, you can see a lot of ducks over in our corner of the lagoon, hanging out as far away from the fireworks as they can. Over on my Flickr, you can see I have a history when it comes to fireworks and ducks.

It was a gorgeous night, and there was a HUGE half-moon hanging low over the Mexico pavilion as we left. I know it doesn’t look all that huge in this picture, but isn’t that how it always is? Also, I love that we have flowers blooming in December here in Florida.

Onward! I went to Old Navy to consider their sweaters again. Once again I tried on some of the ladies’ sweaters, and once again I ended up buying a boys’ XL instead. They’re just so much softer! I don’t get why ladies’ sweaters have to be so coarse and stiff.

I sure am glad I carried my stuff to the fitting room in a neat stack. The girl took everything from me and piled it elegantly in the corner.

I also looked at sweaters at the Target. In the adult section, as well as in girls’ and boys’.

I think they forgot to include something on this particular label. Or perhaps they couldn’t think up any actual features of this tee.

I also found something delicious at the Target.

Don’t knock the chicken granules until you try the chicken granules! I took this jar full of delicious to work, where it’s nice to have a hot cup of broth in a freezing-cold office. It tastes just like the broth that I used to get out of a machine at the high school where my mom worked, back in the ’80s. The cups had poker hands on them. Ah, memories.

Yes, that’s an electric stapler. This office is classy.

I’m going to miss this job when it’s over. There are only three weeks left of my temporary assignment. Although there’s always a chance my temp spot will be extended, I haven’t heard anything to that extent yet.

So here’s to you, cube 226A! My festive lights, fez lamp, various other crap and I will savor you for the next fortnight and a half.

This year is just hauling along. It’s been a busy little while here.

Job: Two days ago, I started a temporary assignment. At Disney, a TA is where you’re pulled from your regular area to do something a bit more specific and skill-tastic. This job is only for a couple of months, covering for someone who’s covering for someone who’s doing a holiday-specific job. It’s over in the talent casting and booking area, which is a department that’s had me in its pre-approved employee pool for 3 years or so. It’s nice to finally get a short sample job over there to see what it’s like, and if I like it, and if they like me. So far, it’s interesting work — booking musicians and variety acts.

And let me tell you, if you can come up with a variety act that’s unique yet fascinating, there’s definitely a living to be made at it. So far I’ve written up orders for stilt walkers, sword swallowers, living statues, and various other cool weird things. I really need to come with some sort of act.

TV: What with me and Scott on contrasting schedules, we’ve had to hack away at our season passes. Out with Unforgettable (totally forgettable) and Pan Am (meh). Also out with Terra Nova (cool concept, but the surly teen aspect is always a ruiner) and long-time favorite Survivor (they finally got too repetitive for us). We’re backed up on, but plan to keep watching, Person of Interest (although it’s all for Michael Emerson, since we don’t care for the whispery acting of Jim Caviezel) and The Walking Dead. We’re also a couple of weeks behind on The Amazing Race, sadly. Fortunately, Project Runway is done (we liked Anya), but it’s quickly replaced by Project Accessory (haven’t sampled episode one yet), Work of Art (worth it just to hear people say the name “The Sucklord”), and Top Chef Texas. Reality overload!

Books: I’ll throw down some reviews soon — when I’m done with the massive over-1000-page tome that Scott recommended.

Holidays: I only bought one bag of Halloween candy. I let myself get the one thing I really wanted, and I ended up with candy corn. I know it’s just corn syrup and wax, but darn it, that stuff is SO GOOD. I was in Macy’s a couple of days before Halloween, and they had their Xmas decorations up. Seriously. I mean, the lights and fake trees and stuff for sale at Costco in August is one thing. Actually decorating your store with them before Halloween is something else entirely.

Pop: I’ve embarked on the quest to give up Diet Coke. I was drinking the equivalent of six cans per day, which was WAY too much. Not only too much caffeine, but also just too much artificial sweetener. The cruise at the beginning of the month helped, because we would have needed to pay $60 in order to get refillable mugs for pop. We spent the week beforehand going through withdrawal, and just had iced tea and water on the cruise. Nowadays, I got some really nice lemon juice from the Costco, and have club soda with lemon for something fizzy. I can’t say that I feel a lot healthier, but it’s nice to not feel like I NEED a bottle of pop. I did have a single cup of caffeine-free Diet Coke from the fountain at Chick-Fil-A the other day, and it was a delightful treat. Which is what it should stay.

Hair: Last but not least, this stuff is driving me crazy. I’m keeping the back and sides trimmed up so that the top can grow out, and my horrible discovery is that my hair likes to grow straight forward. Check out how it dries — I brushed it straight back, with a little bit of styling product in there. Over time, it made its way forward.

Yes, yes, I need to color those roots. Thing is, I can’t be without clips or bobby pins or a hairband to keep this out of my face. Because there’s SO MUCH that wants to be in my face. And this being Florida, where even in the cold weather it’s relatively humid, no styling product stands a chance. I could use my industrial-strength hairspray at the beginning of the day, and at the end, the hair is back to being a flat, lifeless sheet of blah. It doesn’t help that my hair is baby-fine, and that I have a metric ton of it.

I’m thinking this weekend I may recolor, and then hack back to the pixie cut. Because a forehead full of hair will never be acceptable to me, and neither will needing to pull it back and clip it every day. That’s why I cut it short in the first place.

It’s been a busy little month at the House of Meyer. We took our first ever cruise near the beginning of the month, which was awesome. But then we also had visitors come to us!

Scott’s mom and younger brother came to town for a few days, so we showed them a good time. That good time included visiting Disney parks:

I took this with a HDR camera app for my phone. The results aren’t as good as real HDR work, but it still comes out pretty cool. The colors seem more vivid, and everything is super-sharp.

I was also able to take the four of us on a surprise voyage — a fireworks-watching cruise out on the lake in front of the Magic Kingdom. I, a person who never wins anything, won it! It’s part of the “magic backstage” program, which provides nice little thank-yous for cast members. We set sail from the Contemporary Resort.

The weather was a bit drizzly, and there were a lot of pesky bugs down at the Contemporary marina, so the pool wasn’t being used by any people. Good thing, because a dozen or so ducks made it their home base.

We headed out on the water, and we were given drinks and snacks.

Neither Scott nor his Mickey-shaped “crispy cereal bar” are actually that creepy.

The fireworks show wasn’t the usual Wishes, but a special Halloween presentation. Awesome as always.

Our little boat had the soundtrack piped in. It was a load of fun!

At one point in our Disney-goings, we went to a cast-specific store. It used to be just merchandise, but now they have a section where you can shop from a limited selection of groceries. The prices were great! I just don’t need a restaurant-sized can of marinara sauce. But I did get some produce, because the Granny Smiths looked excellent.

And indeed they were. Fresh and tart, as opposed to a lot of the cold-storage stuff the groceries have at this time of year.

You know what else is delicious?

IKEA chocolate. I’ve never been much of a dark chocolate person (really, the bulk of my experience has been the miniature Hershey’s Special Dark bars that come in the Xmas assortment), but I’ve heard that it’s good for you, so I tried out IKEA’s Choklad Mörk. And it’s surprisingly tasty!

Also apparently delicious: grass.

I planted a little patch of grass for the cats to enjoy, since their main outdoorsy time is on our 2nd floor deck. So far Commie is still scared to come out on the deck, but shy Trouble loves it. And she loves to eat her greens. It’s surprising how fast this Bermuda grass grows.

My lemon trees are doing well as well. The Eureka still hasn’t bloomed, but the Meyer went through a lovely bloom (and those flowers smelled fantastic). I’ve been warned to not expect lemons right off the bat, but it sure looks like I have almost a dozen little guys growing. They’re tiny so far, but making nice progress.

They’re just adorable!

Now that I’ve sidetracked like crazy, back to the visiting Meyers. We also went to Sea World! It was my first time, but everyone else had already been a couple of years ago. Still, we three young’uns got to ride Manta for the first time together.

I really loved that coaster. You kind of dangle downward on your belly, so there’s none of that bashing and smashing of my head like I get from a lot of looping coasters. Compared to Manta, the old Kraken coaster was painful and kind of boring.

Had a surprisingly good gluten-free meal (roasted chicken) there, and I was also impressed at the upkeep of the park. Everything was neatly maintained, freshly painted, and very clean. I went in with Unversal-level expectations, so Sea World kind of blew me away.

Except the penguin exhibit was kind of eerie. They just stood around in groups, staring at each other. (This is another picture from the HDR app.)

All in all, it’s been a great fun month!

I’ll leave you with this warning sign that appeared one day at a busy intersection in our neigborhood. Simple, but a message that motorcyclists would love more drivers to keep in mind.

It’s been almost two weeks since I’ve posted. Ack! It’s been a hustle-bustle fortnight here at the House of Meyer.

Workwise, I’ve just finished a week of training for my actual job. If you’ll recall, I’ve been doing some basic greeting and luggage-hefting until they had a classroom session available. I only had to wait a month and a half to start my actual training, which is apparently fairly fast. The five days of training consisted of one day of learning the two software programs, then four days of doing the job while under supervision. I’m sure I’ll still have lots of little questions here and there, but I have the gist down. I start doing the actual job tonight, although I don’t get to do the classroom learning until tomorrow, so I may only have half of the software I need available tonight. We’ll see. Three people do the job at the same time, so at least I’m not being thrown in all alone.

Since I have no seniority, it looks like I’ll be mostly working nights. I don’t mind it so much, except that Scott works mornings. We get to re-bid for schedules every 6 months, and I just missed the bids when I started, so hopefully in 4 months or so we’ll be able to figure out a way to see more of each other and maybe share a day off.

Medically, I’ve been down with a cough and some stuffiness. I’m also going next week to a brand-new gastroenterologist, hopefully one who actually listens to me and doesn’t treat me like an idiot. With any luck, he’ll agree to let me stop the double-dose of immunosuppresants, and go down to one for maintenance. Also with luck, he won’t make me wait two hours to be seen or make me cry or tell his staff what a pain in the ass I am when I’m standing right around the corner, like the old guy.

Scott’s getting ready for some medical whatnot of his own, although I don’t know for sure if he’s said anything to the general public yet. I’ll just say that he’s going to have a procedure done soon that I had done when I was five, and after he has it done, he’ll be able to eat all the ice cream and popsicles he wants.

Commie’s eye is doing great. A little weepy now and then, but for the most part back to normal. Here he is on top of the safety and side-effects sheet for Cimzia, one of the medications I take for Crohn’s. Mind you, it’s also printed on the back side. In fairly small type. This stuff packs some serious yuck.

In the world of little animals, we’re seeing a ton of baby frogs lately. When a friend was over visiting, she just had to pick one up. You can see how totally tiny they are.

Believe it or not, this was one of the larger tiny frogs. Later that week I saw some that were less than half this guy’s size. I’m making sure to step gently when I see them.

Here’s a question for you Oregonians and Portlanders. I saw this car in our apartment complex lot, and while I understand the two Oregon-related stickers, I don’t quite get how the “TURD” sticker fits in.

Perhaps it’s just another of this Portland-loving person’s fixations. Portland and poop, two great tastes that taste great together.

Lastly, we met up with some friends for dinner and mini-golf last week. First we went to Putting Edge, which is an indoor glow-in-the-dark place located at Festival Bay. For those of you who don’t know, Festival Bay is a relatively new-ish but spookily deserted mall. Over half of the stores are vacant, and the occupied spots are filled with weird stores like Black Market Minerals or the several memorabilia stores. When your mall’s biggest stores are Bass Pro Shop and Shepler’s Western Wear, you know you’re in trouble.

We peeked in at Putting Edge and decided that it looked cheap and cruddy, like a traveling carnival’s spooky dark ride. Everything looked like badly-painted plywood. Their price was the same as all of the other area mini-golf joints, so we just toodled over to the nearest Congo River Golf location. Same price, but far less creepy.

See? Much more civilized. The course was good, but it was mostly creative greens. I prefer a mini-golf course with stuff like windmills and buildings and other weirdness. I may be spoiled, since I grew up really close to a Putt-Putt that I loved.

It appears that Universal is building a pair of ’50s B-movie themed mini-golf courses, set to open in early 2012. Fingers crossed that they’re awesome, because the theme is right up my alley.

Summer has arrived early here in Florida. Although it was partly cloudy today.

Horrible, right? Right.

Temperatures are around 90 degrees right now, with humidity to match. I’m working outside, but at least I’m working in the shade, so it’s tolerable. As for the job, it’s going well. I’ve learned that (a) I’m physically stronger than I thought, and (b) I’m much stronger now than I was a month ago. Not that I’m all muscley or anything, but 50-pound suitcases are way easier to lift.

I’ve had more than one manager thank me for doing a good job. Which seems to me the only way to do the job, but if you’ve ever worked anywhere, you know that there are those dead-weight people around. I’ve also had someone mention already that I should become a trainer. I’ll totally consider it in five months, because you have to have been in a position for six months before you can train it.

We’re also getting some kids from the college program starting up, and they all seem like nice guys. I wish I’d known about the college program when I was in college.

Onward to our visitor! Our friend Kermet was in town for a comedy gig, and we were able to meet up with him for an evening. Of course, we dragged him kicking and screaming out to the Magic Kingdom.

He took pictures to torture our Seattle friends. Then we ate some dinner and rode some rides. The new Haunted Mansion interactive queue is a lot of fun! And the new hitchhiking ghosts at the end are a nice update.

We fought our way through the pre-fireworks crowd and headed out via monorail after the sun went down, over to the Polynesian resort to get a Dole Whip. I actually had the pineapple/vanilla swirl, which was a great move. The vanilla cut down on the richness of the pineapple. We caught the ending of the Wishes fireworks show across the lake.

Then we strolled past the luau dinner show, where (according to Kermet) they played three great songs in a row. He’s Hawaiian, so I’ll totally take his word for it. He was also amazed and impressed at one of the hula numbers they included, which was all shirtless men. I can totally get behind this dinner show. Someday I’ll have to check it out.

He didn’t find the Polynesian resort as horrifying as we all thought he would, which was nice. I still don’t think he’ll stay there, though.

The main gift shop at the Poly (called “Bou-Tiki”, I believe) had this horrifying set of mannequins in the window:

The dad has wonky eyes, and the little girl is something out of a nightmare. But at least they’re stylishly dressed?

Anyhoo, we had a lovely time catching up with a great guy. He’s coming back out for another gig in a couple of weeks, so hopefully we can spend another evening taking him to another park.

I now have three weeks of resort work under my belt. And I’ll have a bit more before my real job begins — they’ve pushed back my classroom learning another month, so I’ll be toting luggage for a little while more. No worries, friends. I’m okay with it.

I’ve acquired more bruises on my legs, and a nice spot of rug-burn on my knee from one particularly well-upholstered suitcase. I asked the nurse at my gastroenterologist’s office if my easy bruising was due to the combination of medications I’m taking, and she said, “Probably, I guess.” I looked at the safety info sheet that came with one of the drugs, and it reads: “Contact your doctor at once if you develop easy bruising or bleeding.” Awesome!

In the same doctoring vein, I’ve made an appointment with my HMO to get a new referral to a new gastroenterologist. Hopefully I can find someone who’s willing to discuss things instead of demand things, and who knows that after you make your patient cry, you should save complaining to your staff about what a whiner she is until you know she’s left the building.

I have a few books on my to-review list, although my reading speed has gone down dramatically this month. I’ll blame that on the one-two punch of a physically tiring job and the acquisition of Portal 2. I watched Scott play the single-player game, and now I’m over halfway through my own run. Plus we’re also tackling the co-op game. As I suspected, it’s going to earn a place on my top 7 games list. I’d also rearrange the bottom two, so The Saboteur stays at #7 and The Neverhood falls to #8.

If you’ve played any Portal, you’ll know what I was thinking about when I used the back stairway to visit the doctor’s office:

We’re excited to have a Seattle friend visiting this afternoon — he’s a stand-up comedian, doing a corporate gig in Tampa this morning, then driving out to see us. We’ll most likely take him out to the Magic Kingdom, then find a place with some good key lime pie.

He’ll have to head out before the night gets too late, because I think he flies out of Tampa tomorrow morning around 7. So we should also be able to see the finale of The Biggest Loser tonight. I’m delighted that my first-day favorite, Olivia, is still in it to win. In other reality news, however, I’m not even recording the American Idol finale. I have no interest in either of those country kids, and have fast-forwarded past their performances all season long. I also think that little Chelsea Kane deserves to win Dancing with the Stars, but I’m conflicted because I have a feeling that I couldn’t stand her partner, Mark Ballas, in person.

I just finished working seven out of the last eight days at the new job, and boy are my legs tired.

For those who don’t know, I’ve moved over to the resorts arm of the Disney empire. My eventual job will be “Bell Dispatch”, in which I’ll work in a little booth with a computer, telling the bellmen (I keep wanting to call them bellhops) where to pick up guests and their luggage, and where to take them.

Thing is, I’m not scheduled for my classroom sessions at Disney University for two more weeks. So until I’ve learned the software used to dispatch bellmen, I’ll be doing other work. I’ve shadowed a few people, and I’ve been trained to do an easy temp job (more on that below).

So how was my week? Busy. Tiring. And unfashionable.

The first day was orientation for the resort. It was actually a combined orientation for two resorts, then at one point we split apart and did separate tours. There were a dozen or so of us, headed to many different jobs: dispatch, front desk, housekeeping, food & beverage, and a couple of managers. We had to do some getting-to-know-you exercises, we learned about the Disney service basics, we got overviews of our resorts, we took our tour, and we went to costuming to get our outfits.

I’d heard about Disney costumes from Scott, but this was my first time trying them on. The bottoms are like something out of 1983 — a high and tight waist, several pleats, and tapered ankles. The sizes are also from the past, which is apparently standard for uniform companies. The blouse is a boxy camp-shirt style, with poofy shoulders. It’s as if they decided that since they can’t make everyone look great, they’ll make everyone look equally odd.

All right, fine. I had Scott take a picture of the trousers:

There’s also a pocket on the right side. It adds to the weird saggybaggyness. On the plus side, there’s also an option for shorts. On the minus side, they also have the high and tight waist. Oh well, it could be worse. There are some seriously awful costumes out there. Dinoland USA, I’m looking at you.

Anyhoo, after Monday’s orientation, I got Tuesday off, then headed into a 6-day workweek. Wednesday was spent shadowing the job of “Greeter”, which will be my job for the next two weeks. Basically I hang out in front of the check-in building, under the porte-cochère, greeting guests. I answer their questions, direct them to places, and help with their luggage. If their flight leaves at 7pm but they had to check out at 11am, I can take their bags and put them in storage so the guests can go frolic in the parks. I hold doors for people, and just generally smile and stand around, being available for any guests. It’s not hard work, and it’s not mentally taxing, but it’s standing for 8 hours, which I’m not used to.

Thursday I got to go out with a bellman for the first half of the day, and I learned how they do their work. Which is basically getting calls from the dispatchers, and fetching/delivering guests and their luggage. Then I spent the rest of the day in the Disney’s Magical Express luggage office. It’s a system where you check your luggage into the airline with special tags on them, then at your destination the bags are loaded up and brought to your resort. There, they’re sorted and sent out to the rooms with bellmen, so you don’t have to fuss with the bags. You can just check in, then head off to the theme parks.

So for half of Thursday, and again all day Friday and Sunday, I was slinging luggage. It came in stacked in big locked cages, which we laser-scanned and sorted onto shelves for later retrieval. I learned that I’m stronger than I thought! Although I did bruise the heck out of my knees and legs, what with all the bumping against suitcases and using my knees to help heft bags up to the upper shelves.

My knee is pretty much capped with bruises. But they’re no big deal — I bruise if you look at me wrong. You can also see the mole-removal scar down there on my calf. They’re all healing nicely.

Saturday and Monday, I was a Greeter all on my own. No tranier, not shadowing anyone. Actually doing the job! I answered questions, sent people to places, stored luggage, opened lots of doors, and did it all hanging out in the shade on a warm spring day, with a breeze rustling through the palm trees. Seriously, you could do a lot worse.

Most of the people have been lovely so far. The bellmen are extra nice to me, but I suspect they’re sucking up a little because they know I’ll be dispatching jobs to them eventually. Many of the people in my area have been with the company lots of years, and they’re all well older than I. There are also a number of kids here on the college program, but quite a few of them are leaving this Wednesday, so I only barely got to know them. However, a new batch of fresh faces should show up in the next few weeks. It’s one of the strange things here at Disney — everyone seems to be either 20-something or 60-something. I’m in a weird middle ground.

This next workweek I’ll get a taste of some evening shifts (everything I’ve done so far has started in the morning). I hear it’s a lot less busy in the evenings. Then on the 23rd, I get to hit the classroom. I believe it’s 2 weeks of on-the-job training after that, and I should be a full-fledged dispatcher by mid-June. Since I’ve changed unions, I’m coming into this job at the bottom of the seniority ladder, so I may be working nights again. Time will tell, and we shall see.

SCARS: My stitches are out! Of course, the wounds still look kind of angry. But I did get hearty kudos at the dermatologist’s office — they said I’d done a great job with my wound care, and had kept everything (everyone’s favorite word) moist. The stitches came right out, smooth as silk.

All that for a little mole. Seems a bit drastic!

The good dermatological news is that on all three things that were excised, the margins are clear — they got the whole mole out on all of them. I go back in three months for another lookie-loo, then settle into an every-six-months visiting schedule. Most people go once a year, but because I’m so massively freckled, I get to be part of the more frequent group.

Please note that the dermatologist’s office won’t “except” bills larger than a $20. With picture, in case you’re not sure which one is the $20. I was excited to find an except/accept gaffe, because they’re one of the more rare homophone mixups. (Are they really homophones, though? I pronounce them slightly differently.)

JOBS: It’s still kind of amazing to me how many places I applied to that haven’t said one peep to me. I’m sure they get tons of applicants, but even a quick e-mailed “Thanks but no thanks” (like I just got from Best Buy, to whom I applied 3 months ago) would be nice. I mentioned earlier a “working interview” I did at a vet clinic, wherein a woman brought in her deceased pet and called us all motherflippin’ beaches. Only she wasn’t that coy with the cusswords. Anyhoo, they never called me back with a yea or nay. Seriously, there were probably only a scant few people who went in for their half-day interview process; why not a word back?

This is my last glorious weekend of unemployment. On Monday I go in for orientation at my new Disney job. I’m scared and excited at the same time. This is going to be very different from the rest of my Disney experience — entertainment is such a separate beast from everything else. But I can’t wait to get into the front lines, actually talking with guests directly, going by my own name (And wearing my name tag for the first time!), and helping make the guests’ vacations better.

The hardest thing is finding shoes. Disney is very strict about footwear — my job requires “dress shoes”, black, polishable (no suede or stretch), no contrasting or decorative stitching, and no decorations (buckles, buttons, bows). You try to find shoes that meet those requirements. Not that easy! Every pair of plain flat mary-janes seems to have white stitching, or a big button or buckle on the side. I did find a pair that I think will work; they’re a little pricier than I’d hoped, but I have to remember that when you’re on your feet all day, good shoes are an investment.

UNDERPANTS: Those cold-hearted jerks at Victoria’s Secret have stopped carrying the hipsters I liked. Besides which, their entire underpant focus these days seems to be on being “cheeky”, which appears to mean showing the bottom edges of your butt. Which strikes me as damned uncomfortable. Exhibit A:

In what universe is that full coverage? Look at how much cheekbottom is showing! Even on that model, with her model-sized butt! That thing would practically be a thong on me.

So on a whim, and because they were having the same 7-for-$25 deal that VS often has on their underdrawers, I stopped in at Aerie. It’s part of the American Eagle family, and I used to think it was just for the young people. BUT NO! Not only do they have a great selection of undershorts with great ass-coverage, but they also are my new brassiere purveyor of choice.

Usually at VS, there are two models of bra that come in my “weird” size. Which is 32C (if you’re a 32 band, they expect you to only have size A or B boobs). That’s two models out of the what, 40 or 50 in the store. But at Aerie, they had eight models of non-pushup for me to choose from in my size. Add in pushup and other styles, and I could have chosen from 15 brassieres. They fit great, and cost less than VS.

Aerie is, right now, doing their 7 for $25.50 sale both online and in-store. So if you’re blessed with a junk-rich trunk, check out their boyshorts and boybriefs. Although I can’t imagine any boy or man I’ve ever met wearing underthings the shape of any “boyshort” I’ve ever seen.

Medical update time! To put it simply, my left saccule is wack. Ooh, that sounds dirty!

I went to the ear-nose-throat doctor today for two tests, wherein they checked the functions of my inner ear. One of them was not so bad; the other one sucked rocks. For both, the administrator was pleasant enough, but had me put my purse so far away that I couldn’t grab my phone to take pictures. Which is a shame, because they both involved some goofy stuff attached to my face.

The not-so-bad test was a Vestibular Evoked Myogenic Potential (VEMP) test. I had electrodes stuck to my head — one in the center of my forehead, and one on each side of my neck, just under the ear. I got earplugs put in, then I had to hold my head up and to the side (while lying down) as they broadcast a series of really loud clicks into each ear. You never realize how heavy your head is until you have to hold it up like that. My neck muscles got a great workout.

Off we went to another room for the second (rock-sucking) test: videonystagmography. I got to wear these goggles:

My left eye was free to look at stuff, while a camera recorded my right eye. I felt like a SCUBA-diving Borg.

I had to track a red dot with my eye while sitting up. Then I had to watch the red dot while shaking my head back and forth, or nodding it up and down, to a specified beat. Which got faster. And faster. And gave me a headache and an awesome case of the dizzies.

Then, I lay flat on my back, they closed the little window over my left eye so it was completely dark, then … stuck a tube in my left ear and blew cold air in. It doesn’t sound that awful, probably. But what it’s supposed to do (and totally what it did) is to make you feel (a) lightheaded, like you’re flying, and (b) like the world is spinning around you incredibly fast. I was so thrown by how violent the spinning and floating felt, I started hyperventilating and tears squirted out of my eyes. It was horribly intense. After a calm-down period, I got the cold air in the right ear (it was easier, knowing what to expect). Then the same process was done with hot air (which didn’t make me anywhere near as dizzy).

After that, I was stuffed up, headachey, and really dizzy. I sat for a while to settle down, then the doctor came by to go over the results.

Turns out the videonystagmography was perfect. My reactions to red lights and air in my ears were totally normal. But the first test, with clicking, showed exactly what the problem is.

I have Labyrinthitis, in which the saccule (the part of the inner ear that deals with gravity) in my left ear is messed up. It’s frequently caused by a virus — something as simple as a bad cold, maybe even one that I had long ago — that settles into the comfortable environs of the inner ear and hangs around to cause trouble later. I’ve been given a 3-month course of really intense antihistamines (to be taken at bedtime, since they’re a relative of Valium) which should somehow reset the gravity sensors in that ear. The doctor says that within two weeks, I should be feeling close to normal again.

The funny thing is, this also explains my hospital visit last October — the earliest signs of Labyrinthitis aren’t necessarily felt in the ear. Often the first sign is a panic attack, which can involve chest pain, hot and cold flashes, sweating, light-headedness, and a tingling sensation. It describes what I had last year perfectly. Although at the time, I never would have ever thought it was a panic attack, because I wasn’t panicking.

It’s awesome to have a doctor tell me flat-out exactly what the problem is. And since we have no idea how long this gravity-sensing problem has been hanging out in my head, after this treatment I may have an easier time on roller coasters, swings, and high-rise elevators. Fingers crossed!

I’m still currently unemployed, my friends. But good things are on the horizon!

I’ve had a number of interviews here and there, and I’ve been sitting on the waiting list at Disney since I was laid off. Incredibly, Disney is the company that’s come through first. In two weeks, I’ll be training for a part-time spot at one of the resorts. I’m still on the waitlist for full-time; hopefully it’ll come through in time for busy summer.

I’ll be on the front lines, directly helping guests, instead of my old acting job. I’m not upset about it — I know more than one actor who felt that going into a “regular” Disney job was beneath them, but I don’t feel that way. I’m excited to get the real Disney experience. I get to wear my name tag! And I get to directly help make sure that people’s vacations go well. That’s why I moved here, and that’s why I always wanted to work for Disney.

Not that I wouldn’t take an acting job if they gave me one. I know it’s something I’m good at, and that I enjoy. But no such jobs are available right now. Onward, to a new adventure.

Of the other interviews, one of them offered me a part-time job right afterward. They scheduled me to come in two days later for fingerprinting and the background check. They called the next day, saying they didn’t quite have all their ducks in a row, so I didn’t need to come in the next day, they’d call me. A few days later, I was called up again, was told that they had to go back over all of the candidates with management, and they won’t be offering me a job at this time.

On the one hand, I can understand — they most likely had too many people for the number of spots available. And while I did well at the interview, I didn’t have any prior experience in that specific field. But still, it’s not the nicest thing to offer someone a job and then do take-backsies.

Another interview was for appointment-making and front-deskery at a veterinary clinic. It was a “working interview”, in which I went in for three hours and shadowed the job itself. I learned some things about myself — number one is that I’m not a huge fan of dogs. Especially dogs in large numbers. Number two is that I’m probably too tender for such work, as evidenced by how shocked and upset I was when a woman stormed in with her dead pet in her arms, screaming obscenities at the desk staff. I don’t think I’m hard enough to deal with that now, and I don’t think I ever want to become that hard.

I have two interviews next week, including one on my birthday. Both are for more part-time stuff, which seems to be all that’s available in Orlando these days. But if I can find a way to balance two part-time gigs, that wouldn’t be too awful. Fingers crossed!

Now, onward to the health side! This time off has been a good time to tackle a couple of issues. One is a visit to the dermatologist for the full-body freckle check. I had this tiny dark spot show up on my upper arm:

Small, but much darker than my usual freckles. Of which I have a lot. Turns out this, along with an equally dark little pinpoint spot on my calf, is a “blue nevus” — a slightly abnormal mole. Nothing cancerous, just … abnormal. Both spots were shaved off, but I’m going back next week to have them both dug out a little further. This means a multi-stitch spot on my arm, which will result in what I told the dermatologist better be a “bitchin’ scar”.

Meanwhile, up in my head, something’s been amiss for a while. I’ve been having dizzy spells and occasional ringing in my ears. A few weeks ago, the dizziness kicked up a huge notch and became a daily problem. I felt roughly 5 to 10% more discombobulated than normal, with occasional surges of the world becoming disconnected from where it should be. Off to the doctor I went!

We started with a full battery of bloodwork (everything’s totally normal) and an MRI of my brain (again, nothing amiss), so now I’m working with an ear-nose-throat guy. Next week I get to go through a couple of tests to see if it’s a problem with my inner ear. There could be too much fluid, or too little, or little calcium stones in the inner ear fluid that rattle around like the marbles in a can of spray paint, causing the vertigo. The tests should be entertaining; they appear to consist of having various electrodes, goggles, and/or cameras attached to me while they wiggle me around in different positions.

I think the eyeballs are the most awesome part of the MRI images.

So it’s a busy week next week. Monday: interview. Tuesday: interview and birthday. Wednesday: ear and balance testing. Thursday: mole surgery. Friday: Brazilian steakhouse for meat orgy.

I think you can guess which one of those things I’m looking forward to the most.