I posted previously about the Atkins Muffin-in-a-Minute recipe, and my tweaks to it. Well, I’ve continued tweaking.

I’m still making these with coconut flour, instead of the original recipe’s flax meal. We just now got a bag of flax meal, so I’ll have to play around with it and see if I like it. Meanwhile, the base recipe:

1 heaping Tbsp coconut flour
1/2 tsp baking powder
2 tsp sweetener (1 packet of Splenda)
1 tsp butter
1 egg

And the add-ins:
1 tsp liquid flavoring
1 tsp powdered flavoring

Now, you can be as creative as you want with the flavorings. Usually I do cinnamon/allspice with cream, or with some sugar-free maple syrup. But here are a couple of other options.

Banana nut muffin: add 1 tsp banana flavoring and a dozen or so pecans, chopped.

Lemon poppyseed: add 1-2 tsp lemon juice or extract, 1/2 tsp poppy seeds, and make a lemony frosting from 1 Tbsp cream cheese, 1 packet of Splenda, and 1/2 tsp lemon juice. Tart and tasty!

Thanks to our buddy Bob and his red mill (ooh, that makes me want to visit Red Mill Burgers in Seattle) we’re all set for various flours and meals. In the past, I’ve used the almond flour for cookies and cheesecake crusts. I bet that would add a bit of body to these muffins. And the flax meal is a popular choice for low-carbers, since it’s almost all fiber. I’ll have to go light on that.

We’ve postponed my birthday dinner twice now. The first reservation, I was sick. The second reservation, Scott was sick. Now, finally, the third time was the charm. We both felt hale and hearty and ready to eat as much meat as we could at Texas de Brazil, our favorite Brazilian steakhouse.

For those unfamiliar with the Brazilian steakhouse (also called a churrascaria), it’s a grand affair. You’re seated, you meet one of your servers (there are a bunch of them around, all bringing things to your table and clearing other things away). Then you’re invited to visit the salad bar.

I used to think of “salad bar” as the wilted greens and sliced veggies at the grocery store. But this is so much more than your average salad bar. Here was my salad bar loot:

Asparagus, marinated artichoke hearts, shrimp, smoked salmon, crispy thick bacon, fried provelone cheese, potatoes au gratin, and a dash of cucumber salad. Plus the lobster bisque, which is the best darned bisque I’ve ever had. You can go there and eat only the salad bar, and you’d leave full and happy and satisfied. But you’d be missing out on the amazing meats.

One of your thousand waiters brings a fresh plate, along with garlic mashed potatoes and fried cinnamon & sugar bananas (to cleanse your palate between meats). These are tasty in and of themselves, but I went very light on them. Why waste stomach space on carbs? Every place setting has a little coaster, one side red and one side green. Flip it from red to green, and the servers know you’re ready to go.

The meat started coming, and we started really, really eating. I didn’t want to stop and wait to build up a plate full of meat, but I managed to find a moment where I had three meats at once:

There’s bacon-wrapped chicken, filet mignon (medium rare), and a spicy sausage. The filet melts in your mouth, and the sausage is amazing. We also had flank steak, garlic sirloin, bacon-wrapped filet, and a host of others, all beautifully seasoned. The meats are brought to your table by magnificent men in flamboyant trousers, wielding swords covered with chunks of deliciousness. I said no to a lot of things — pork loin and lamb chops aren’t my bag.

If we’re planning on being naughty, we split their coconut cream pie for dessert. Because it’s not light and fluffy like most coconut cream pies — it’s thick and rich like a coconut cheesecake. Tonight, however, we just didn’t have the room.

There are other Brazilian steakhouses around — maybe you have a Texas de Brazil in your area. Maybe you have a Fogo de Chão. Google “churrascaria” and your town; you may find a new place for those celebratory meals, or any time you’re in the mood for heaps of amazing meats. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be over on the couch in a meat coma.

In my magical youth, I worked for a family Greek/Italian restaurant. There were a ton of different restaurants owned by various siblings, cousins and other offshoots of this particular family, and they all seemed to share recipes. If you’re in Seattle, you may know one or more of the restaurants: Spiro’s, Pegasus, Olympia, Olympia II. The one where I worked was called Stavro’s Pizza, because that’s the Greek version of Steve, the name of the guy who owned the joint.

I worked there for my last couple of years of high school. I started as a waitress, but soon moved up to cook. And I really should have written down some of the recipes — their pizza sauce was great, as was the meat sauce for the pasta dishes. Over 20 years later, I’m still madly in love with the “house dressing”. In fact, I think one of our last meals in Seattle before we moved was pizza and salad down at the Olympia II at Stone/45th. And I wondered after moving here: would I ever find a salad dressing I loved that way again?

We visited the north Seattle Spiro’s when we visited last year, and I asked if I could get the recipe. No ma’am, was the answer. Closely-guarded family secret, and all that. So as I ate my salad, I analyzed. Then I went home, and browsed Greek dressing recipes on the internet. And finally I put together my own list of ingredients, and prayed that they would taste good.

Nailed it, on the first try!

Honestly, it may not be exact. I haven’t been back to Seattle since making this recipe, and it’s been a year since I’ve eaten the real thing. But it tastes oh so right to me. I make the mix in a Good Seasons cruet, but you can make it in any container that has a good, solid lid.

1/3 cup red wine vinegar (I love the Pompeian brand)
2/3 cup light olive oil*
2 tsp lemon juice
1/2 tsp dry basil
2 tsp dry oregano
1 tsp ground oregano
1/4 tsp black pepper
1/8 tsp salt
1/2 packet of Splenda (or 1 tsp sugar)

* The original recipe is not olive oil, but probably some other vegetable oil (canola/soy/corn/etc.) or possibly a mix of olive oil and vegetable oil. But the only liquid oil I consume is olive oil, so that’s what I use here. It’s delicious, and I can leave the dressing out on the kitchen counter without worrying about it going off.

My salads are simple: lots of lettuce, pepperoni, salami, sometimes Canadian bacon, and heaps of shredded mozzarella. Sure, you could add onions or cucumbers or tomatoes or whatever other salad fixings you like. But most nights, like tonight, I just want to get my meat & cheese on.

For quite some time, I’ve read on the low-carb forums about the “muffin in a minute” or “one minute muffin”. And now, even the Atkins site itself has a page for the muffin in a minute. So despite my hesitation due to the large egg-to-otherstuff ratio (I’m not a fan of egginess), I gave it a whirl.

First off, I don’t have flax meal. But I do have coconut flour. Since the CoCoFlo is really, really thirsty stuff, I’m using less of it than the recipe calls for flax. Quite a bit less — all of the recipes I’ve seen call for 1/4-cup flax meal, and I went with a tablespoon (a quarter of a quarter-cup) coconut flour. Still … it works.

The ingredients I used:

1 Tbsp coconut flour
1/2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp cinnamon (I usually mix cinnamon and allspice)
1 packet Splenda (or 2 tsp equivalent sweetener)
1 tsp butter
1/2 tsp heavy cream
1/8 tsp vanilla extract (just a splash)
1 large egg

Toss all of the ingredients into the cooking vessel. I’ve tried this in a coffee mug (successfully), but I’m really digging this big 5-inch souffle cup/ramekin I got at Target. Mix everything up until it’s a thick, batter-like consistency. Scrape the sides of your bowl/cup/dish down.

Throw it in the microwave and cook it for approximately one minute. Although for our microwave, I like what we get from 1:15 in there.

And the result is a spongy, cakey, light and fluffy disc of deliciousness. We haven’t had any problems with these guys sticking to the container; just flip over your mug or bowl, and it should pop right out. With sweet flavorings like the cinnamon and Splenda, it’s not eggy! Although I tried a savory variation with Parmesan cheese and garlic powder, and THAT was a little too eggy for me.

To get a cinnamon bun flavor, I let the muffin cool a bit then put a tablespoon or so of spreadable cream cheese on top and sprinkled with an additional packet of Splenda. It hits the sweet spot, and tastes delicous, but there’s nothing naughty about it! And the ingredients are all fresh.

Nutrition facts (cream cheese included):
180 calories / 12 g fat / 9 g carb / 4 g fiber (for 5 g net carbs) / 8 g protein

Let’s compare it to a store-bought microwave cake: the Warm Delights Cinnamon Swirl Cake. That thing has 72 grams of carbohydrate (50 of which are sugar), and a majestic list of industrial processed food ingredients. And over twice the calories as this homemade cakey, muffiny, bready treat.

Who doesn’t love a good muffin? I certainly love one. In fact, I happen to think the ginormous muffins from Costco are just about one of the most wonderful baked goods out there. So when I got my hands on some coconut flour, I knew I had to try one of the many muffin recipes out there on the internets.

Coconut flour, Kerrygold, and eggs.

The base recipe isn’t too hard; it can then be customized in tons of ways.

3 eggs
2 Tbsp melted butter (I used Kerrygold unsalted)
2 Tbsp cream/milk/coconut milk (I used cream)
3 Tbsp sweetener (I used powdered Splenda)
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp vanilla extract
1/4 cup coconut flour*
1/4 tsp baking powder
1 Tbsp water

I melted my butter first, by microwaving it for 10 seconds in the mixing bowl. Add the eggs, cream/milk/cocomilk**, sweetener, salt, and vanilla. Whisk it all up until it’s nice and smooth. Add the coconut flour*** and baking powder, whisk until smooth again. Add the water if the batter is too thick.

* Only 1/4 cup? Yes. Seems like not enough, but this flour is thirsty. As soon as I put it in, it got really thick, really fast.

** The original recipe called for milk. I only had cream, so that’s what I used. And coconut milk can be used as a dairy-free third alternative.

*** Every recipe I found called for sifting the flour. I didn’t, because I don’t have a single thing I can use to sift flour. They didn’t come out grainy, so I think not sifting is fine.

Now, the add-ins. I split the batch into two so I could try two different flavors. For each flavor, I added a teaspoon or so of dry ingredients, and two teaspoons of liquid.

Lemon-poppy: 2 tsp lemon juice, 1 tsp poppy seeds

Cinnamon spice: 2 tsp. chai tea concentrate, 1/2 tsp cinnamon, 1/4 tsp cloves, 1/4 tsp allspice.

Bake at 400° F for 15-18 minutes (mine took 18). Makes 6 muffins.

Lemons to the left, spice to the right.

Ah, but how are they? My friends, this first batch was surprisingly good. I was concerned that they’d turn out too eggy, as I’m a person who doesn’t like the taste or texture of straight eggs. But they were fine — no egg flavor, and though the texture was a bit lighter and fluffier than a normal muffin, they didn’t have any of that rubbery egg texture. In fact, it’s almost more like a light cake texture than a muffin, which opens up a whole new world of coconut-flour cupcakes.

For both varieties, next time I’ll put in more flavoring. They both tasted good, but maybe another teaspoon of cinnamon spice, or a half-teaspoon more lemon juice will really make them shine. But overall these were quick, easy, and tasty. I’m making a note here: moderate success!

Future flavor thoughts: definitely, I need to try chocolate. Probably also a coconut flavored one with coconut flakes. And one with just cinnamon and some cream cheese icing. Hmm!

Nutrition facts, approximate:
Whole batch: 730 calories/56 g fat/29 g carb/14 g fiber/26 g protein
Per muffin (6): 120 calories/9 g fat/5 g carb/2 g fiber/4 g protein

In my apparent ongoing attempt to try the salad and meatballs at every Italian chain restaurant in town, we visited Buca di Beppo the other day for lunch. Now normally, Buca is known for family-style dining. But for lunch, they do single-serving dishes.

1/2-pound meatball and side salad

Buca di Beppo offers their half-pound meatballs at $5.95 each, or three for $14.95. We opted for the three and split them. The side salad (either a mixed greens or a Caesar) is $2.99. I got the mixed greens, Scott got the Caesar. They’re pretty small side salads — if you like your greenery, you might be better off getting the big splittable Caesar ($10.45) which will get you each two good plates-full.

I signed up for their e-club, so I get frequent coupons in the email. They also advertise heavly in the Val-Pak coupon mailing here in Orlando. And the last two times I’ve visited, they’ve given me a fresh coupon with the check. The coupons are for $10 off of $20 or more, which can make lunch a pretty good deal for two. I personally prefer the Macaroni Grill meatballs a little bit more, but these are still tasty, and if we’re at the mall, it’s a convenient choice.

Located near where? Never heard of it.

Now for something I take a huge issue with. Buca has signs up all over the mall, because they’re in kind of a hard-to-find corner. By Nordstrom. Every single one of their signs has given Nordstrom an extra “S” at the end, which (being from the Nordy hometown) has always irked me. Although at least they didn’t make it an apostrophe-S. That would have made it clobberin’ time.

All right, so that’s not entirely accurate, but it certainly got your attention, didn’t it?

Here’s the thing — weight loss, which I accomplished through low-carb eating, makes your bra size go both down AND up. The band size goes down, but your cup volume can remain the same, which on a smaller band means you need a higher letter.

I used to wear a 36A bra at my largest — I probably should have moved up to a 38, but a combination of stubbornness and shame kept me in my too-tight, awkward-fitting boulderholder. So the first 20 pounds of weight loss probably brought me back down to a proper 36. Then the next 30 pounds of weight loss sent me to a 34, but with a B cup. You go down two inches in the band, you go up one letter in the cup.

30 more pounds, and my 34Bs were riding up in the back, which meant the underwires pressed into my ribs and guts, which meant it was definitely time to get re-fitted. I’ve moved down to a 32 band size, which means that my ta-tas (which have stayed relatively the same size, thank goodness; apparently a lot of women who lose lots of weight lose quite a bit in the ladyberries) are now techincally C-cups.

I wear a C-cup.

All it took was shrinking small enough so that you can count my ribs. (Don’t worry, I still have enough trunk-junk to average out to a regular person.)

The biggest problem is that, while 34B is a very easy size to find, 32C is shockingly rare. Most places that carry a 32 band (which isn’t many) only have it in a 32A, and most of those are little girl first-bras. A rare few carry 32B. But 32C? Even Victoria’s Secret only had two models to choose from, and the color options were white, pale pink, and one lonely green/yellow/brown number in a floral/leopard print. It wasn’t hideous, so I bought it.

There are a lot more color choices in the t-shirt demi style I like on their Web site. Looks like I’ll be buying my freakishly small-banded big-boobed bras on the internets from now on.

I had a couple of VS gift cards, so I’ve also stocked up on new undershorts from VS’s “Pink” store. As I told Scott, I’ve purchased “an ’80s rainbow of skivvies that fit.” I’m shocked to be wearing their medium, since long ago I had some of their stuff in X-large.

It’s nice to see articles like this: End the War on Fat: It could be making us sicker. Slowly but surely, mainstream media is starting to let people know that dietary fat is not the enemy. If Slate can be considered mainstream media.

I’m recapping the short series Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution over at The Disney Blog. (ABC falls under the Disney umbrella.) Two episodes in, four to go. Fingers crossed that Jamie can make some significant changes.

I just got a couple of books from Amazon: New Atkins for a New You and The Primal Blueprint (and yes, those are affiliate links). I’m starting with the Atkins book first. So far, there aren’t a ton of changes from the 2002 New Diet Revolution; it’s mostly some tweaks and hints, as well as guidance on how to do Atkins as a vegetarian or vegan. (Inconceivable!)

This week’s homemade ice cream is maple pecan again. I got some coconut flour, which should hopefully open up new avenues of experimental cooking and baking. We’ll see how I do with this one package before I go balls-out and buy a 4-pack from Amazon. There are recipes galore out there, from using it to bread fish to making muffins and cakes.

Phony Pony Chunky Monkey

I’d never had Chunky Monkey ice cream, but Scott wanted to try making a low-carb version. So we got some banana flavoring, I soaked and toasted some pecans (apparently the original has walnuts, but me no likey), and I made some of the coconut oil chocolate to break up into chunks.

Since I’ve found the pasteurized in-shell eggs, our ice cream has raw yolks. Here’s what I used:

1 cup heavy cream
2 cups half-and-half
3 egg yolks (pasteurized)
1/2 cup Splenda
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
2 tsp banana flavor
6 drops yellow food coloring

Whisk the Splenda and the egg yolks until smooth. Add the cream a little at a time to thin it out, whisking as you go. Then you can dump in the rest of the ice cream ingredients, whisk it all together, then throw it in the ice cream machine for a half-hour. I added in some yellow food coloring just for the hell of it — you can totally leave that out.

After it was done, we took it out of the machine and mixed in a half-cup or so of chopped pecans and a half-cup or so of chunks of chocolate. Into the freezer it went!

I have to say, I really like this flavor combination. But Scott is the all-knowing person as far as how it should taste. He says the chocolate chunks should be larger, there should be more chunks of stuff overall, and it should be more banana-y. So next time, we’ll do more nuts, more and larger chocolate, and another teaspoon of banana. But for a first try, I’m making a note here: moderate success!

Sometimes, you want a quick and easy meal. Did you know you can make crispy, delicious chips using only cheese? They really hit the crunch spot, and carbs aren’t an issue.

Cut the cheese.

Nuke the cheese.

Eat the cheese.

I used slices of Tillamook medium cheddar, because it’s the best cheese on earth. And because when cut into nines, the slices make the perfect sized chips.

I cut a round piece of parchment paper (man, I love parchment paper) and arranged the cheese around the outside. Then I microwaved it for a minute. You can re-use the parchment paper a few times; just wipe the tasty cheese grease off between batches.

To finish, I took a Wholly Guacamole 100-calorie pack of guac, mixed in some extra red onion and lemon juice, and … yum.

Zazzed-up guac and cheese chips!