Get it right, people!

This rant comes courtesy of , but it kills me too. Last night, on Rock Star: Supernova, one of the contestants used a bullhorn in part of his song. A little hack, yes, especially since JD Fortune did it last year with “Pretty Vegas”. But that’s not the rant. The rant is that everyone on the show kept calling the bullhorn a megaphone. They are two distinctly different things, but even when searching Google images for an actual picture of a megaphone, the results were mostly bullhorns. In other news,. . . Read More!

Xmess

War on Christmas, blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda. I think my biggest problem with wishing people “Merry Christmas” throughout the month of December isn’t that it’s offensive to people of other religions (though I do believe it can be), but that with every other holiday, you tell people to enjoy that holiday on the day of the holiday. Man, I wish that for the month leading up to my birthday, people would wish me a happy birthday. But it’ll never happen. And it’s not like the entire month of. . . Read More!

Workplace Theater

Workplace Theater presents: “Good” Backstory: Garage Guy D is the assistant manager down at one of the garages, and sometimes brings that garage’s paperwork to the main office. He’s the only smoker in the whole company, I think . . . his paperwork always reeks of stale cigarettes. Here’s a standard conversation between me and GGD: GGD: (rings doorbell) ME: (opens door) GGD: Hey, how are you? ME: Good, how are you? GGD: Eh, it’s Tuesday. Every time I return the useless, non-caring “how are you” crap, he answers with. . . Read More!

Workplace Theater

Workplace Theater Presents: “Carrots and Potato Chips” The backstory: Coworker B has a bag of those peeled baby carrots in the company fridge. The previous day, she’d offered that if I’d like to eat some carrots, they were there and available. An unrelated-to-the-theater fact is that she’s constantly munching on them at her desk. For hours. Loudly. Anyhoo: CB: Coworker B SK: Skinny Boss ME: Moi SK: Hey, CB, I had some of your carrots last night. I was hungry. CB: That’s OK, no problem. SK: They were really good.. . . Read More!

People!

Person #1: So on one of the audition notices I put up, I had to include a phone number. I put in my message line (555-66-MISSY) which records voicemails and delivers them to my email as a WAV file. On the audition notice, I put very plainly to contact me via email. Just got a message from a guy, asking if he really had to bring a headshot. So I called him back and left a detailed message on his voicemail, all about how we’d at least need a snapshot,. . . Read More!

GEEEEEEK

Let’s talk Star Trek. I’m asking the eternal question: Who was the best captain? Also, what’s your criteria for judging the best captain? A while back, Scott got into this very conversation with a woman. She claimed Kirk, he claimed Picard. She was all, “But Kirk is so much more fun to watch!” Scott countered that with his opinion that Picard was a better captain because he was more sensible, less hasty, more of a thinker and less of a let’s-go-make-sweet-alien-love-immediately kind of guy. She looked at him strangely and. . . Read More!

Dilbert today

Back in the 90s, I worked for a group of local radio stations. My job was “Continuity Director”, working in the traffic department. No, it had nothing to do with cars. In radio and TV, the traffic people are the ones who schedule what commercials run when, and make sure the correct ones run at the correct times. One year, the company did incredibly well. The ratings were HUGE, and the income was equally huge. And our department was a big part of that — if commercials didn’t run as. . . Read More!

Playing the "Baby Card"

So as you all know, I’m one of those “BabyHaters” that the bigwigs up in Washington are always warning you about. But the thing that a lot of people fail to understand is that it’s not the children I dislike, it’s the breeders that make them. Not parents — because parents actually take part in parenting their children, teaching them lessons, and so forth. Breeders are the ones who make the babies, but then don’t appear to give a crap about molding those kids into being productive members of society.. . . Read More!

Open up your mind…

Dragged Scott off today to see The Phantom of the Opera. We were going to see The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou afterward, but the 2:40 showing was sold out, and I didn’t want to hang out downtown for two hours. We’ll see it soon. Anyhoo, back to Phantom. I’m a fan of the musical, so my expectations were pretty high. How did it disappoint me? Let me count the ways: The girl playing Christine was the worst . . . lip-syncher . . . EVER. You sing in the. . . Read More!

Phrases that should be eliminated

“The Customer is Always Right.” Asshats galore try to use this one as some sort of universal law. What none of them seem to understand is that this was an advertising slogan for a department store. Saying this phrase is roughly equivalent to claiming, “Coke is it!” In actuality, the customer is frequently wrong, a whiner, and a moron. “It Never Hurts to Ask.” Scott and I agree that the only good thing to ever come out of the radio advice show “Rhona at Night” was when Rhona Raskin said,. . . Read More!