There are a lot of unknown (to me) faces in the lineup. As well as a lot of sequins and strapless dresses. They’re dolled up and ready to rock out! (And speaking of dolled up, what’s with J-Lo’s dress? Can we really call it a dress? It’s more of a big sparkly scarf wrapped around her. Fug!)

Tonight is going to consist of a lot of songs I don’t know, and a few that I think are going to be horrible, horrible mistakes. I’m looking at one item on the song list in particular.

The judges blah-blah, while I’m off in my own mental happy place. Then the girls come out, and seriously, for at least half of them I’m all, “Who?” And for a couple of them, I’m all, “Ugh.” Off we go!

1. Ta-Tynisa Wilson – “Only Girl in the World” – I think I only noticed this girl for the first time when she was told she made the top 24. She’s wearing a ’50s-style dress that would be more appropriate on someone doing the jive on a dancing show. And her singing is … all right, I guess. I mean, this is a terrible song. And parts of it are way too low for her. And her dancing is kind of a squatting-stomping combo. And her next-to-last big note is awful. The only good thing is that her necklace is made up of hidden Mickeys. Meh. Meeeeehhhhhh.

MICKEYS!

2. Naima Adedapo – “Summertime” – Throughout the preliminary rounds, we’ve been told over and over again how amazing this girl is. But I haven’t really seen it so far. Although she certainly does go all-out with her wardrobe. She’s doing a jazzed-up version of her song, and it’s … the best I’ve heard out of her. There are a couple of dud notes near the end, but overall it’s a good performance. She also looks comfortable on the stage, and really knows how to use the space. She still doesn’t quite rock my socks, but she’s totally moving on to the finals.

3. Kendra Chantelle – “Impossible” – Who? Who is this girl? She looks like someone else. Hmm. She certainly looks good in leather pants. She sounds fine, I suppose. I’m just really distracted by her sleepy eyes. Girl looks like she’s about to keel over with the narcolepsy. Plus she’s just standing there, and the song kind of plods along. She does some fair runs, but I just don’t know if she’ll stand out enough by the end of the night.

4. Rachel Zevita – “Criminal” – I’m worried about this one. This is the song that makes me fret. And OH MY GOD SHE’S RUINING IT. She turns the song into a jazzy nightmare, and apparently she doesn’t give a crap about the actual melody. Props for performance, since there’s a lot of “sexy” tromping around the stage and the judges’ platform. But it’s like she took the words to a song, then wrote completely new music around them. There’s nothing that relates to the original besides ONE key change. Ghastly. I know she’s the female pick this week for the Vote for the Worst gang, and I can totally see why.

5. Karen Rodriguez – “Hero” – Well, we’ve had the Xtina, now it’s time for Mariah. Why, oh why do these girls always try to tackle the bombastic divas? At least there’s no Celene Dion song tonight for the trifecta. She does switch it up by doing part of the song in Spanish, which will probably tickle J-Lo’s heart. Overall it’s good, but bland. There was just no excitement for me. The judges, however, loved the absolute crap out of it.

6. Lauren Turner – “Seven Day Fool” – Oh, okay, so there are two Laurens in this group. This is the one who I don’t recall ever having seen. (The other one irritates the hell out of me.) She continues the jazzy theme of the night, and it’s pretty good. I’ve learned from this Lauren that they make combat boots with a wedge heel. And that you shouldn’t go on national TV with a chipped manicure.

I mean, seriously. Look at those nails. If you’re going to wear the black nail polish like all the hip kids, you gotta keep that stuff up. Plus, does the bottom of the new AI microphone look like an electric stove burner? Or the MasterChef logo? Anyhoo, I’m filing this Lauren under “forgettable”.

7. Ashthon Jones – “Love All Over Me” – Oh no, this is a fashion don’t. The denim bustier with high-waisted black leggings? Bad, bad, BAD. I do love her hair, though. I don’t know this song, but I have to say, the line “I’ve got love all over me” sounds like a euphemism. I can’t be the only one whose inner 12-year-old is giggling away. And she keeps singing it over and over and over! The song doesn’t rock my world, but I guess she sings it okay.

8. Julie Zorrilla – “Breakaway” – I know this girl loves the petticoats, but this outfit is a bit too junior prom. She sounds like she’s slightly behind the beat throughout the verse. Oh, and on parts of the chorus too. I wish this song were in a different key — it’s like she’s constantly butting up against the low end of her register, where she doesn’t have much power. A couple of her big final notes clunk, and overall this is pretty sub-par compared to what she’s done through the preliminary rounds.

9. Haley Reinhart – “Fallin’” – Okay, I think this Haley is who Kendra reminds me of. Wavy blondes with distinctive chins.

Nothing alike? Or secret cousins? Oooh, “Secret Cousins” would be a great song title. Or even a band name. Hmm. Her singing is pretty good, but her performance stinks. A lot of squatting and vague pointing and hand-flailing. She could be twice as good if she just knew how to use the stage. But she takes a tough song and turns in a decent performance. Although she doesn’t exactly get raves from the judges.

10. Thia Megia – “Out Here on My Own” – I don’t usually think of Irene Cara songs when I think of 15-year-old singers. But this kid is no ordinary 15. It’s a ballad, and usually those bore the pants off of me, but she does a fantastic job with it. She has a great voice, and unlike so many other teenaged contestants on this show, she can put actual emotion into the song. Plus, she’s totally dressed in a cute and age-appropriate fashion. And she seems like a genuinely nice kid. What’s not to like? Finalist!

11. Lauren Alaina – “Turn on the Radio” – On the complete other end of the teen spectrum, there’s this girl. Seems like she’s trying to be grown up SO HARD, with the teased hair and attitude, that it turns me off. Plus, country. I think we all know how I feel about country. But she’s been highlighted throughout all of the prelims, and she’s the only country singer on the girls’ side, so she’ll probably make it to the finals. Plus, the judges fawn all over her.

12. Pia Toscano – “I’ll Stand by You” – She’s a cute girl who I only vaguely recall. I’m jealous of her hair. She does a fair enough job with her song, but The Pretenders just doesn’t translate well for me into the overblown beautiful-voice sound that so many Idol contestants have. She’s also parked behind a microphone stand the entire song, so there’s no motion to pep up the ballad. Everyone seems to love her, and she is in the headliner spot, so I’ll have to seriously consider her for the finals.

Watching the recaps, there are some real clunkers in there. And a lot of all right. As usual, I’m going to make my picks based partly on my opinions of their singing, and partly on how the producers have edited the audition rounds. Here are my picks for the 5 moving on:

Naima Adedapo
Karen Rodriguez
Thia Megia
Lauren Alaina
Pia Toscano

We’ll see how well I scored during tonight’s results. Next week: wild cards!

Okay, so this year on AI they’re handling the semifinals in a totally different way. Tonight we hear the top 12 guys sing. Tomorrow, the top 12 girls. We the voters will send 5 of each straight to the finals, and the judges will get to pick one wildcard from the remaining 7 of each gender.

This is going to make guessing a lot harder. Unless 7 of these guys suck. Which is entirely possible — this is a much larger audience and stage than previous semifinal rounds, so a lot of these kids may be hit with some severe nervousness.

I may also base some of my picks on which guys have been pushed on us during the audition rounds. Like, you know, that one kid. Or that other guy. Or the one with the thing. There are at least a couple of doomed “who the heck is that” guys in this bunch.

1. Clint Jun Gamboa – “Superstition” – Ah, the guy who kicked that poor Jaycee out of his group during Hollywood week. Unforgiveable? As far as this song, where’s Simon Cowell when I need him, to call this performance “very karaoke”? This song happens to be on the song list for the American Idol Experience at WDW, and I have to say, I think I’ve seen a custodian perfom this song better. I mean, the guy is a karaoke host, so it shouldn’t surprise me that it’s a karaoke performance. I dig his glasses, however. Oh, but there’s Randy Jackson saying that no karaoke singer in the world has that kind of talent. Hrm.

2. Jovany Barreto – “I’ll Be” – I think of this guy as Baby Stallone. And I always expect his name to be spelled “Giovanni”. He’s picked a plodding song, and his performance appears to consist of putting his hand on his stomach, then in the air, then back on his stomach. Yawnsville.

3. Jordan Dorsey – “OMG” – Well, the kid has some showmanship, I’ll give him that much. But he starts his song in a muddy low key, the bulk of the song isn’t musically challenging, then he goes into a horrible flat falsetto. The judges aren’t fans of this performance, and I’m right there with them.

4. Tim Halperin – “Streetcorner Symphony” – I only remember this guy from auditions because his name is so similar to one of the characters on The Office. I don’t know the song he’s singing, but it seems like his performance crosses that fine line between singing and shouting. It’s not musically exciting. Another victim of poor song choice.

5. Brett Lowenstern – “Light My Fire” – Seriously? The kid has a very stylized voice, and this song doesn’t fit it at all. Plus, his idea of costuming is to wear a New Moon support bracelet, and his idea of showmanship is to whip his hair back and forth. He gets some guff from the judges for the hair flipping, but if I had hair like that, I’d have to toss it out of my eyes, too. It’s just all kinds of not good, but I bet he’ll make it through to the finals anyway.

6. James Durbin – “You Got Another Thing Comin’” – I’m not a fan of Judas Priest, but this performance isn’t bad. He seems comfortable, and he looks like he’s enjoying himself. He’s totally a rockier version of Adam Lambert, but Lambert was a total hoot to watch. Despite not caring for the song, I thought this was the best performance so far tonight.

7. Robbie Rosen – “Angel” – Sarah McLachlan? Not the most macho choice. It sounds like he’s off the beat throughout the entire first verse. Plodding, trudging, slogging. He misses all of the dramatic notes. He stays glued to a microphone stand the entire time. And in case that isn’t enough criticism, he needs a haircut. That ’70s length and style doesn’t work for anyone. Bleah.

8. Scotty McCreery – “Letters from Home” – I don’t care for country music. I also don’t care for the way this kid twists his face to the side when he sings. It looks like he’s always smirking. His voice is perfect for country, though, and I’m sure the country-loving portions of America will be voting for him like crazy. I want to see what he does with non-country songs.

9. Stefano Langone – “Just the Way You Are” – I watched every episode of the audition rounds, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen this guy before. Or if I did, clearly he didn’t impress me as anyone of note. His voice is decent for the most part, although there’s a high note that makes J-Lo twitch. I don’t know how well he’ll do, because he’s kind of a generic boy with a generic boy-band sound, and we haven’t been trained by previous rounds to salivate when he appears.

10. Paul McDonald – “Maggie May” – Seacrest tells us he’s “quirky and cool”. He’s another guy who I don’t really remember from previous rounds, although he seems vaguely familiar (as opposed to Stefano). His first note, however, is bad. He has a raspy, higher-pitched voice, kind of like Rod Stewart, but that’s what makes his song choice bad. It’s like he’s a bad Rod Stewart impersonator. It’s also really distracting how he’s moving around in an Ed Grimley-esque flounce.

11. Jacob Lusk – “A House is Not a Home” – This kid is fascinating. He’s like … well, remember Nick Mitchell, back in season 8, who performed in his over-the-top character Norman Gentle? Yeah. Jacob is just as over-the-top as Norman Gentle, but for real. They even have a similar sound. So since I couldn’t have Norman Gentle in the finals, I’ll put Jacob through for the sheer hilarity.

12. Casey Abrams – “I Put a Spell on You” – I heard that Casey was in the hospital and required a blood transfusion, but was released just in time to tape this show (from the post-sing joking with Seacrest, I’m guessing it’s stomach-related). And I’m so glad he’s better — he’s one of my favorites going in. His performance cracks me up, but in a great way. He’s so totally into it, and it looks like he’s having a fantastic time, and it’s all full of growls and meaningful looks at J-Lo, and then he kills it with a soft, soft ending. If he doesn’t make the finals, I’ll be stunned.

America will pick five to move on this week, so here are my guesses:

Casey Abrams
Jacob Lusk
Scotty McCreery
Brett Lowenstern
James Durbin

Tomorrow, the top 12 girls will hit the stage. And looking at the song list, I think there will be more than one absolute trainwreck. I can’t wait!

First off, WordPress 3.1 is out. Its name is Reinhardt. If you’re a WordPresser, get some!

Secondly, The American Idol top 24 performances start tomorrow. In years past, over on LiveJournal, I used to run contests guessing who’d be eliminated every week. Is anyone out there interested in participating this year? Looks like there are some real good’uns, and some fantastic crapburgers this season.

Thirdly, as I’m previewing this post on my site, there’s an ad over to the side —> for a lawyer who looks like he wants to eat my face off. He’s staring me down with his crazy eyes. Sorry, Florida readers.

Now, to the photos. They are many.

Down below our apartment, there’s a pond and a nice stretch of grass. This trio of ducks has been waddling around a lot lately, but this was the first time our more chattery cat has been out on the deck to see them. It’s weird — normally Commie is the much bolder, braver cat. But with this new apartment with a deck, Trouble comes out to lounge around, while Commie sits just inside the door.

Like so.

Don’t mind the flip-flop; it’s my high-tech doorstop.

Oooh, I think I just came up with some rap lyrics.

It’s not a home, for me, until I have some edible things growing. Unfortunately, the deck faces north, so it doesn’t get any sun. But the kitchen window gets some nice afternoon sun. Hopefully it’s enough for these plants — our last place had windows that faced roughly west-ish, and I was able to grow some herbs there. This time I went with basil (I almost always grow basil, it’s my favorite fresh herb) as well as sweet banana peppers and a strawberry plant. I’ve never tried strawberries indoors before, so we’ll see how they do.

And now, sightings out and about in the big, bad world. Scott and I were both startled by the store name “Fairvilla’s Sexy Things”. I also noticed a Fairvalla Road the other day, although it was probably 10 miles away from this store. Which isn’t quite the same name, but it was an odd coincidence. Anyhoo, it’s just a weird sounding combo — to me, “Fairvilla” sounds like a town near the little house on the prairie. Which doesn’t make me think of any kind of sexy things.

Also, I totally want to get some sexy things, then a crazy costume, then finish it off in the middle ground with a light bulb. I think with all three of those, I could put together a heck of a package.

Saw this one at the mall the other day. This is Pottery Barn, where someone named All Hanging Canopy can be bought for 79 bucks. I guess if they’re all-hanging, they might be worth that much.

This is the back of a big truck with a big … crushing thingy. Seriously, it was a truck, then this thingy, then a flatbed. I don’t know what the thingy does, but apparently there are hidden gears that have at least two distinct methods with which they can crush your fingers clean off.

The mere thought of fingerlessness makes Spidey really, really sad.

I’ll always give a new game show a chance. When Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? started, I watched Regis every single night. When Deal or No Deal did its week-long premiere, I didn’t miss a show. So this last week, the overly-literally-named Million Dollar Money Drop aired for four days in a row, and we watched them all.

The first night was the only one we watched in real-time. We discovered pretty fast that this is a show that needs to be watched from a recording, so you can fast-forward. Like so many game shows, this one could easily fit into a half-hour instead of an hour; it’s padded with long, lingering drama shots and endless bickering.

I think it’s the bickering I hate the most. The contestants have been, so far, male-female couples who are either married or dating/engaged. (And if there’s anything I’ve learned from watching every episode ever of The Amazing Race, dating/engaged couples who go on reality TV shows are irritating asshats who I want to junkpunch.) I’m pretty sure they’re encouraged by producers to talk out all of their answers, and question each other’s certainty. But what that turns into is:

Her: Are you SURE?
Him: I’m 100% sure.
Her: But … like, a million dollars sure?
Him: Yes! I’m totally, 100% sure of this answer.
Her: NO. WAIT. WAIT. I just … are you SURE SURE?

Like I said, junkpunch.

Cutting out the drama pauses, the bulk of the bickering, and most of the other filler, we’re able to get through an hour-long episode in about 15 minutes.

The good thing, I guess, about hating the contestants and their shrill screeching, is that over half of the first-week players didn’t win a single thing. They lost all of their money, and THAT was satisfying.

But the most awful thing about this show is that they’ve already had a major screw-up. Looks like their research wasn’t thorough enough, and they said a right answer was wrong, causing a couple to lose $800,000 on the fifth question (out of seven). Granted, the couple lost all their money on the last question anyway, but the show is still inviting them back to play again.

I may watch. I may not. If I do, I’ll have my junkgloves on.

Continuing to catch up, here’s a photodump.

We went to see Harry Potter 7.1 in the theater. I dislike the cinema experience, mainly due to the other people involved. Does nobody respect the call for quiet anymore? Stop with the texting, and talking, and crinkling, and asking, “Who’s that now?”

This was the bathroom at our local Regal. It was like peeing in space.

As for HP7.1, it wasn’t that great for me. I should have realized how much of it was sullen camping. They may as well have filmed the thing in black and white, what with all the washed-out filtering. Plus, how many times can you start a shot looking at the ground, then pan up to where something magical has just happened? Apparently, MANY times. Which certainly saves on the special effects budget. Here’s hoping 7.2 is more action-packed, and less dreary.

Not a photo, but a screencap from TV Guide’s site. Instead of subscribing to TV Guide, I just get the RSS feed. It’s actually MORE news than I got from the magazine, hooray.

The Good Guys appears to be ending for good, since it’s been huddled in FOX’s Friday Night Slot of Death since it came back (that same slot Fringe is headed for come January). But if you’re a TV writer, and you’re writing about a show that you like and are going to miss, please don’t refer to the character Dan Stark as “Don Stack”. That’s right up there with people who are telling you about their “favorite” actor or movie, then mangle the name. Which happens all the time.

Speaking of TV, eagle-eyed viewers/readers let Scott know that Adam Savage wore his Infini-tee on Mythbusters again. Thanks for this, BI readers! It tickles Scott greatly every time.

We visited Downtown Disney recently, and I fell in love with this carpet at the year-round Christmas store. If I have to have carpet (I’m not a fan), then why can’t it be cool carpet like this?!

I got a copy of Stephen King’s Under the Dome from the library. It’s HUGE. Almost four pounds, which makes it hard to read in bed due to cumbersomeness and the high chances of giving myself an injury due to drowsy book-dropping. So I’m having to dedicate time in the reading chair. Still, it’s hard to find a way to hold the damned thing without it pressing into my guts.

This one book is a prime argument for getting a Kindle this holiday season. Or maybe an Android tablet that runs the Kindle app. Either way, food for thought.

Five other books are on my to-review list, but they’ll have to wait. Because while Under the Dome is really heavy, it’s also really good. Really overly wordy as well, but that’s just the Steve King way.

In TV news, we watched the premiere of the 21st season of Survivor last night. Looks like it’s going to be a good season. I’ve proposed that Scott and I start a new thing — pick the winner after the first episode. Although we went with a potential winner from each tribe, since you never know when one tribe is totally going to dominate the other. So our episode-1 winner selections are Marty (old) and Sash (young). It’ll be intersting to see how well they do.

I guess I should also pick a winner for America’s Next Top Model, since I’ve only seen one episode so far. I have to consult the list of ladies on the CW Web site, because I don’t really know anyone’s name yet. Since this season is all about the “editorial” look, I’m going to go with Rhianna. Because she’s weird-looking, but not the weirdest-looking of the bunch. Just watch, she got eliminated in last night’s episode.

Today is Sunday for us, since our days off are Wednesday and Thursday every week. I’m planning on going through my closet and dresser, getting rid of stuff that’s the wrong size or I just don’t wear. I predict three bags full for the Goodwill. Also on the docket: cleaning out expired medications and nearly-empty bottles and containers from the bathroom. Which is something we all should do, right? That Sudafed from 2007 isn’t going to throw itself away. And neither is that hairspray that doesn’t hold, as well as that body glitter from three Halloweens ago.

Every network is smothering us with ads for the new fall season, so I went to the ol’ TV Guide site to map out what we’ll be recording.

Boy, I guess scheduling the TiVo won’t be as hard as I thought it would be. What with Lost done, and must-sees like American Idol not showing up until mid-season, there aren’t really any bottlenecks. I only have two brand-new shows on my list, and I don’t necessarily expect them to stay on the list for long. Here’s what we’ll be watching this fall:

Monday
8:00 House (FOX)
10:00 Castle (ABC)

I guess I could record Dancing with the Stars in its two-hour block from 8-10, but there isn’t a single celebrity who interests me this season. I know NBC is desperate for us sci-fi fans to check out The Event, but it doesn’t look interesting either. Maybe, just maybe, we’ll check out the Hawaii Five-0 reboot in the 10pm hour.

Tuesday
8:00 No Ordinary Family (ABC)
8:00 Glee (FOX)
8:00 The Biggest Loser (NBC) (via Hulu the following week)

Here’s the one spot of the week where three shows are on at the same time. But if No Ordinary Family turns out to be a steamer, the problem is solved. Last year, because of Lost, we watched The Biggest Loser via Hulu. They have a one-week delay on the episodes, but nobody spoiled me, and the season rolled on just fine. Not to mention our antenna isn’t that reliable with NBC, so we’d be using Hulu most of the time anyway. In other news, I’m still not sure why I watch Glee. I’ve figured out that I don’t like Matthew Morrison at all, but … I guess the music is usually interesting.

Wednesday
8:00 Survivor (CBS)
8:00 America’s Next Top Model (CW)

Wednesday appears to have become reality night. Survivor moved there from Thursday, which is actually a huge help. There’s also Hell’s Kitchen on at 9, but I removed the season pass halfway through this last season. It’s just a horrible show full of horrible people. Though some might say that about ALL reality TV.

Thursday
8:30 Shit My Dad Says (CBS)
9:00 Grey’s Anatomy (ABC)
9:00 Fringe (FOX)

We’ve dropped both CSI and The Office from the Thursday at 9 spot — CSI got boring once William L. Petersen left, and The Office is an NBC show: crappy antenna reception, and available on the Hulu. We’ll try out the new Shatcom, which I prefer to keep profane, but I have a sneaking feeling I’ll find it uncomfortably unfunny, like I find most sitcoms.

Friday
9:00 The Good Guys (FOX)

Wow, Friday. That’s it? Okay then.

Saturday
(rest)

There’s not a single thing. Then again, the schedule has college football listed for ABC, “local” for CW, lots of Cops on FOX, and NBC just reads “repeats” for the whole night. I guess that will be Netflix streaming night. Bring on The IT Crowd!

Sunday
8:00 The Amazing Race (CBS)
9:00 Undercover Boss (CBS)

This is, clearly, feel-good reality night (as opposed to Wednesday, which I’m renaming backstabby reality night). The best reality show on TV (and the only one I’d want to be on), The Amazing Race will always be at the top of our season pass list. And Undercover Boss was charming last season. Hopefully they’ll adjust the formula a little bit, to make it just a splash less treacly.

So that’s what we’ll be watching this season. I keep thinking of trying out Bones, but they have so many seasons under their belt, it’d be hard to start now. Maybe we’ll check it out on DVD. I also keep hearing about Mad Men, but it doesn’t interest me. Not to mention all of the shows on HBO and Showtime, two channels we don’t get. But I think this will be more than enough.

I put my pictures in a separate entry. Here’s the deets on the reason for the trip.

Back in January, I took the online Jeopardy! test. I’ve taken it the last couple of years. Don’t know if I’ve passed it before — usually there are too many sports or bible questions, which are my Kryptonite. I think I lucked out this time with my standard “if it’s a basketball question, the answer is Kobe Bryant” approach. Because I’m pretty sure it actually was Kobe Bryant.

Anyhoo, got an email back in March letting me know I’d passed the test, and I’d been chosen randomly from among the test-passers to go to the in-person audition. I immediately wrote back saying yes, please, thank you. Booked the vacation time, booked a cheap hotel (well, cheap for the Miami beach area) and this past Thursday, we hit the road.

We killed thousands of lovebugs on the way down. The trip was a little over 200 miles each way, and I have to admit, I’m not up to distance driving anymore. It’s hard to believe that back in 2007, we drove anywhere from 9 to 13 hours per day to get from Seattle to Orlando in 6 days. Even 4 hours on the road (we made several stops to clean off bug bodies) is too much now.

Got to our hotel, checked in, scouted the area. Hoofed over to the Atlantic:

Then we rustled up some dinner, and visited a local mall so I could look for a shirt. I’d brought a shirt with me, but I wasn’t entirely happy with it — the paperwork asked for us to dress as we would if we were appearing on Jeopardy!, so I wanted to make sure I looked the part. Happily, I found a great item on the clearance rack at The Limited — a dark blue button-down. Plain and classy.

Back to the room, and then we suited up and visited the pool for some night swimming. Not only did we have a pool and a whirlpool available, but there were also ladders down to the Intracoastal Waterway. Scott wouldn’t let me even climb down and dip my toe in, since it was 8 to 10 feet down a slimy ladder into questionable and very dark public waters. Full of wildlife. Oh well.

Friday, we kicked around the room for much of the morning, and managed to catch some Lazy Town dubbed into Spanish (WTF that show, I don’t even know) and part of The Abyss (in which the effects don’t hold up). Then I put on my fancy pants (and new shirt, and shoes with heels), we checked out, and we ambled down to the Westin.

Scott set up with his gadgets and headphones in the beautiful lobby, and I headed upstairs. There were a couple of guys there already, but I was one of the first, since I’m always way too early for everthing. I filled out my application form, with full disclosure that I work for WDW (the rules state that nobody can be on the show who works for CBS/Sony Pictures, but this application also asked about anyone working for ABC (Disney), NBC (Universal), or any local TV stations. So I don’t know what kind of grey area I’m in as far as eligibility.

Eventually, there were 20 of us. Some dressed appropriately, some not so much. A t-shirt with a cute skirt? Not good. Ren-faire-inspired clothes? Not good. A ratty, beat-up golf shirt — well, at least it had a collar. But not good. We got checked in, had our Polaroids taken, and moved into the conference room. The casting folks, all very nice, talked a little about what to expect in the audition, and then we took the written exam. Just like the online test, it was a 50-question exam, with 8 seconds to answer eash question. They collected our tests, went out to score them, and the room exploded into “what was the answer to this one?”

We’ll never find out our scores, by the way. It’s totally pass/fail — get 35 or more right, you pass. 34 or less, you fail. Period. And I think I cut it pretty close. I aced the pop music and movies stuff, but there were some sports and poetry and such that I know I got wrong.

Either way, pass or fail, nobody found out their results. We all moved on to the mock game, and they explained that the audition process used to have everyone who failed go home, but they decided to invite fewer people and let them experience the entire process instead. I applaud the choice. So onward to the fake game! We got up in groups of three, and got to use the genuine buzzers. I’m delighted to say, I got the country music question correct. A fluke!

At the end of a dozen or so questions, we got to do a little one-to-two minute interview. And I know I aced this part — clear eye contact, enunciation, personality. It was kind of shocking to me how many people mumbled their answers while staring at the wall above the casting peoples’ heads. But I guess the ultra-smart sometimes aren’t known for their social skills.

They asked me what I do at WDW, and I told them that I host a game show about Velcro. At which, the other woman in my group laughed out loud and said, “Oh my god, that’s where I know you from! We did that show when we went to Epcot for my birthday!” As they say, it’s a small world after all.

It took a little over 2 hours for everything, then we were set free. I gathered up Scott, changed out of my fancy duds into shorts, and we hit the road back to Orlando. We could have stayed another day, but we opted to get back home so we could have a leisurely Saturday off here. And happily, there were a LOT fewer lovebugs on the way home. I don’t know if the swarm moved on, or if they’re more active in the mornings, or what. But we didn’t have anywhere near the same death counts on the return trip.

So now, the waiting game. None of us will know if we passed the test or not, or if we made the contestant pool or not, until we maybe possibly get a phone call at some point in the next 18 months inviting us to LA to appear on the show. So for all I know, I’m in. But for all I know, I failed the test. Or it may be that my employer eliminates me from consideration. I’m not going to wait by the phone with bated breath; if a call comes, it’ll just be a fantastic surprise.

In the meantime, we had a fun road trip with many a laugh, and I got to walk on some beach. And have a fun experience that few people get a chance to have.

Here are a couple more books from the past month: one I just finished yesterday, and one I forgot to include in yesterday’s post. I think this catches me up; the library says a book is on its way, but I’ve read everything on hand. I’ve also just discovered that our library lends e-books, although the DRM on the books (issued from Overdrive) means I can’t read them on my phone, nor can Scott read them on his iDoodad. I’ll have to read them on my computer, which isn’t terrible, but it’s hell to read from a desktop in bed.

Eoin Colfer – And Another Thing…: If you haven’t heard of this book, it’s the new sixth book in the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy trilogy. Of course, the first five books were written by Douglas Adams, may he rest in peace. I’m not entirely sure of the reasons why the Adams estate authorised Colfer (author of the Artemis Fowl books, none of which I’ve read) to write this additional sequel, and it certainly doens’t add much to the series.

The Guide series already went downhill with the last Adams installment, Mostly Harmless. In my opinion, the series should have ended with So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish — especially with Arthur Dent in a happy place. Mostly Harmless just screwed everything up, depressed the hell out of me, and introduced at least one loathsome new character (Random). So where does Colfer have to go from there?

On the one hand, I wished that Colfer branched out into new territory more. He frequently makes reference to established persons/places/things, like Squornshellous Zeta, Eccentrica Gallumbits, Wowbagger the Infinitely Prolonged, Vogons galore, and the cows who beg to be eaten. I yearned for more creativity; more unique and never-before-seen people and places. But in the spots where Colfer does develop new ground, it just feels awkward and out-of-place (see the entire interaction with Chulthu). He also has clearly watched the 2005 movie for inspiration, because Zaphod is now described as having curling blond hair, and Trillian is clearly written as that icky Zooey Deschanel.

The one thing Colfer could have done to make me happy was to give a little bit of Arthur’s happiness back. But alas; he hints at it for a brief moment near the end (for a whole half-page), then gives Arthur an even more depressing fate. Colfer could have righted many of the wrongs of Mostly Harmless, but instead wrote a plodding-in-places and not-clever-enough volume that leaves many characters in even worse places, and has others act in ways that five previous books prove to be completely wrong. 4 out of 10.

Richard Castle – Heat Wave: Of course, this book isn’t really written by Richard Castle; it’s a lightweight (208 pages) ghostwritten novel from the folks at ABC and Beacon Pictures. It’s a brilliant tie-in — if you have a hit TV show about a writer, why not actually release the book that’s released in the show? I can only imagine how many Murder, She Wrote books would have sold back in the 80s with this same concept.

Anyhoo, the book is light and fluffy, corny and cheesy. It actually reads like a well-written piece of Castle fanfiction with the names changed. Which I think is the feeling they were shooting for. The crime in the novel has plenty of twists and turns, especially the second half when the clues start rolling in and things come together. The first half of the book was a little slow at times as far as the crime, and weirdly fast and jarring as far as the attraction between Nikki Heat and Jameson Rook — the initial spark seems to come out of nowhere. It almost feels like the writer(s) finally hit their stride and go comfortable midway through the novel, then forgot to go back and spruce up the first half with the appropriate groove.

Still, it was a fun little romp. And when the characters in the show make eyebrow-wiggling reference to “page 105″, now I know what they’re talking about. I’ll definitely be checking out Naked Heat when it hits the shelves in September. 7 out of 10.

Top 5! Frank Sinatra songs! Harry Connick Jr.! I always look forward to standards week, and this is no exception. Bring on the good ol’ tunes!

Seacrest reminds us that Siobhan was sent home in a surprising manner last week. We need to vote for our favorites, so who will we vote for this week? The audience screams, “LEE!”

Turns out that this week, HCJr is working with the contestants to arrange their music. Which is a fabulous change from previous mentors, who pretty much say, “Find the meaning of the song, make it entertaining, and smile at the camera more.” Harry will even be playing on stage with the contestants. Now this is what mentorship should be! Let’s hope it all works out.

Oh, and one of Frank Sinatra’s daughters looks good, and the other looks like a warmed-over plate of plastic surgery.

Aaron Kelly – “Fly Me to the Moon” – He’s taking a semi-upbeat song, and starting it out slow and droning. Which just amplifies the nervous quavering. The beat gets peppier into the second verse, but he’s still hitting some really awful notes throughout. It’s just not that exciting, and not that great as far as the performance factor. Bland and dull. 6 out of 10.

Casey James – “Blue Skies” – Casey’s all pulled-back-hair and stubble, once again looking like a bad guy on Miami Vice. His second note is a massive clunker. The arrangement is a slow, drowsy one, which only serves to emphasise his goatlike bleating. I’ve heard that he’s this week’s pick at Vote for the Worst, and I can totally see why. It’s off-key in a majestic way. 4 out of 10.

Crystal Bowersox – “Summer Wind” – It’s a jazzy arrangement, and Mamasox actually looks really good in her gown. And of course, she sings the song beautifully. She’s had a rougher week or two, but she’s back on top again this time. I don’t know what her personal meaning is for the song, but you can totally tell it has meaning for her. It doesn’t rock as hard as it could, but I think I’m glad. This song isn’t a hard-rockin’ thing. Still, I think there’s room for improvement. 8 out of 10.

Michael Lynche – “The Way You Look Tonight” – The question is, will he sing this as a slow, plodding, nasal ballad? The answer is yes. Oh, but it gets a little peppier after the first bit. Still nasal, still boring, but a little faster. Is it just me, or does this guy bore everyone? I mean, this performance was totally predictable. He never comes out of his comfort zone, the way Crystal did just before. I just find him bland. He’s Blando Calrissian. 6 out of 10.

Lee DeWyze – “That’s Life” – Once again, dreamy Lee gets the pimp spot. Harry’s wife thinks Lee is pretty. for the performance, Harry’s playing the Cheesemaster 5000 organ. And maybe it’s that he shares a little winky-nudgey with Harry at the beginning, but Lee seems much more comfortable than usual. He actually looks like he may be having a tiny bit of fun. He goes up in pitch a half-step or so before the music at one point, which is awkward, but overall it sounds good. 8 out of 10.

So of the five, Crystal and Lee are my frontrunners, Aaron and Michael are wallowing in mediocrity, and Casey was the clunker. Will his attractiveness keep him in the race? Not with that villainous look. Although Aaron had the deadly opening spot and wasn’t memorable, I think his tinyness will keep him in. Casey for the boot.