Happy Oyster

I’ve been asked a number of times today if I have anything fun planned for Easter. Maybe it’s that I’m not a christian, but I never ask people if they’re planning on enjoying a religious holiday. Because I know that not everybody is of that religion, and not everybody celebrates that holiday. All I know is I get tired of the following: Well-wisher: So, have anything fun planned for Easter? Missy: Um… not really. I don’t celebrate Easter. Well-wisher: Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t know you were Jewish! Missy: Um…I’m. . . Read More!

Eat It, IRS!

I’m packing up the taxes so they may dash their way to Fresno, California for processing. This is the first time for Fresno; I used to send them to Ogden, Utah. Another first (at least in the last few years) — I get to use the yellow “no I’m not sending you money” label. That’s right, it’s refundsville, daddy-o! Not much of a refund, but any tiny bit coming back is better than having to cut a multi-thousand-dollar check It does kinda irk me that after making me do all. . . Read More!

Oh Nooooo! Dr. A!

Atkins Hospitalized… “Low-carbohydrate diet promoter Dr. Robert Atkins remained hospitalized in extremely serious condition following surgery for severe head injuries he suffered in a fall on an icy sidewalk, his spokesman said… ‘He was negotiating the snow and ice and failed in that negotiation,’ spokesman Richard Rothstein said.” Of course, I’m sure his detractors will twist the event so that it was Atkins’ weakened bones or frail health, due to his dangerous low-carb diet, that caused the fall. Jeez, the guy’s 72. Read More!

Today's Important Lessons

Here are a few things I’ve learned about life, the universe and everything this morning: 1. Empty vacuums suck more. I changed the vacuum bag during my spate of housecleaning, and discovered a world of difference. Not only is the vacuum lighter and more powerful now, but I got the extra treat of being creeped out by the old vacuum bag. It was so soft and pliable, all filled with dirt and cat hair and various other stuff, and lay there limply with its one long arm dangling out. It. . . Read More!

TiVo-a-go-go

We’ve turned on the setting on our TiVo that lets it record shows it thinks we’d like, based on things we’ve already recorded and watched. Today’s TiVo report: 1. Homekeepers with Read More!

My home is ready "for the children."

Just standing in my bathroom, brushing my teeth, I was suddenly amazed to see how many of the things around me in my childfree house are full of warnings for my nonexistent children. The cord on my hair dryer has a tag which cautions me to warn children about the risk of death from electric shock, should they get the bright idea to drop a plugged-in hair dryer into a bathtub. There’s even a charming illustration of a full tub and a hair dryer just about to plunge into the. . . Read More!

Workin' at the Cat Wash! Whoa, whoa, yeah!

It’s amazing how one cat can watch the other cat being given a bath, and just not realize that they’re next. Commie watched Trouble receive her bath — in fact, he got up on his tippy-toes so he could look into the bathtub and get an eyeful of the proceedings. It was almost like he was laughing at her. “Look what Mommy and Daddy are doing to you, Trouble! I’m sure glad I’m over here, a foot away, where I’m completely safe! Ha ha ha!” But overall, Trouble was the. . . Read More!

Big Yellow Taxi

Driving home tonight, I was treated to some unknown pop group’s fresh new rendition of “Big Yellow Taxi.” How many times does this song need to be redone? I’ve heard like 5 versions of it already, and “BYT” is not a song I have ever sought out. In this particular version, apparently they thought to change it up a little by using some different notes than the original. And add some syllabubs here and there. (I meant syllable, not syllabub. I’ll give a quarter to the first person who gets. . . Read More!

Personal Choice Discrimination: Yet Another Screed

A conversation with a friend yesterday got me to thinking about some things. We’ve all been told it’s not OK to discriminate against somebody because of their race, gender, handicap… anything that’s beyond their control. But when it comes to peoples’ personal choices, apparently it’s open season for scorn, derision and downright nastiness. You see, I’ve decided to not have children. When people find this out, there’s apparently some unspoken signal that it’s now open season on my choice. I understand that a lot of people have a hard time. . . Read More!