Shut Your Pie-Hole.

Well, it was a successful thrifting weekend for this Missy. Went out Saturday to my local Value Village and came away with just a top and a skirt. I thought my thrift karma was somehow off… usually I find more good stuff than that. Well, never fear, the karma is back. Today I went down south to the Renton Value Village and the Goodwill in Tukwila.

First stop, Renton VV. Found some great items, tried them on, many of them fit very nicely. So after leaving the fitting room, I found myself near the books, and decided to have a browse. I was barely into the books section when someone stepped up next to me. I didn’t pay the guy any attention… until he asked me very loudly, “what are YOOOUUUU doing here?”

Needless to say, I was a bit startled. I looked at the guy — probably mid-30s, very scruffy, with a big backpack over his shoulder and … the crazy eyes. I tried to figure out if I knew him from somewhere, because at least that would be a somewhat acceptable reason for this stranger to come talk to me. He asked again, “what are YOUUUU doing here?” I, being the witty wordsmith, replied with, “what?”

“I mean, what’s YOUR point in being here, sir? Just to look at cookbooks? What are YOUUU doing here?”

“Sir?” I queried. This asshat called me sir. And he’s totally inching closer to me. I realized a hearty “fuck off, buddy” might just gain me an injury of some sort. So I brought out the big guns with a “whatever, dude,” and walked out of the aisle. At the end of the aisle was a very nice guy who asked me if I was OK, he’d been watching and hadn’t been able to figure out if I knew the guy or not until I turned and stalked away. Nice Guy and I headed to the front, where we told the cashier what Crazy Eyes was doing. She looked over toward the books, and we all clearly heard the guy ask someone else, “what are YOOOUUU doing here?” She called security, and the guy was escorted to the doors, all the while protesting that he just wanted an application for employment. A short time later, as I was paying at the checkout, the Nice Guy came up to buy his stuff too. When he saw me in line, he grinned and asked me, “what are YOOUUU doing here?” We shared a chuckle.

The next, less eventful stop was the Goodwill. Not the best selection of pants, but they did have some nice dresses. Goodwill was having a 30% off sale on all women’s clothes in honor of today’s Hallmark Holiday, so I took full advantage. The exciting thing that happened at the Goodwill was an interaction I overheard between a father and child. The kid was in a cart, making standard kid noises. The father then came out with this gem:

“I am goddamn sick and tired of your whining! Now sit down,” and here’s where it got good… “and shut your pie-hole!”

Holy mother of pearl. I never thought people actually used the phrase “shut your pie-hole.” I just thought it was a comical phrase. But now I know the sick, sad truth. However, the kid was obedient, and his pie-hole remained closed the rest of the time I was there.

And so, the thrift haul for the weekend (which will be replacing a similar-sized pile of too-big items), for the low-low cost of $32 American: one halter top, one short-sleeved shirt, two long-sleeved shirts, two long skirts, two summer dresses (one of which is an incongruously labeled size 2), a pair of black loafers and a brand-new pair of black flip-flops (OK, those I got at Target, but they were only two bucks). So for what many people pay for one piece of clothing, I have acquired 8 garments and two pairs of footwear. Huzzah for thrift!